Enjoy it today Darlin'

Today I finished day 100 of my 100 day challenge--at least 1 mile walking or running everyday for 100 days straight.  It was cold, and I was running late which may explain why I was running 8 minute 15 second miles.  Whatever the reason, I was pretty pleased with myself; I would have started singing the happy song but I was having a hard enough time breathing--45 years old (middle aged, not old, right Cliff?) but still running at a decent pace.  And then I remembered my 16 year old son coming home last week and telling me he had finished the mile in 6 minutes 20 seconds.  Back to that middle aged thing... I flashed back to  March 2010 and a 5K we did together.

It was another cold morning and the first of the triple crown leading up to the Derby mini marathon.  Chris and I were both signed up, but he had the flu.   He really wanted that t-shirt and you have to do all three legs, (or maybe I really wanted to not go downtown alone) so Boss stepped up and said, "I'll run this one for you."  We were both a little surprised; true we all run the turkey trot every Thanksgiving morning, but other than that, I'm not sure we'd ever seen him go out and run.  But off we went.  We started the race together and I tried to pace myself with him.  I was a little worried about his asthma, and I wanted to help him, to encourage him.  Towards the end of the first mile he turned to me and said, "You know, I'd really like to do this on my own.  You go ahead; I'll be fine."  So, not being the mother of the year but rather being the competitive mother of a child with asthma who justified leaving him with the thought, "there's lots of EMT's around" I took off.  I crossed the finished line and my maternal instincts kicked back in so I began walking the route backwards.  About half a mile from the finish line I saw Christopher.  He was still running but looked a little tired; I broke the rules and went back on the course to finish with him.  As I got over to him he said, "I haven't walked once."  He was so proud and we finished together.  As we were heading back to the car he said, "Thanks for coming back for me; I know I could have done it but I'm glad you were there at the end."  I too know he would have done it; he's quite competitive--not sure where he gets that?   When we got home Chris asked us how we did and I went back into competitive mode and stated my time and then Christopher's.  Chris responded, "Enjoy it today Darlin' it's not going to last." Truer words have never been spoken.

As I was remembering this I started thinking--when the children were small I had to drastically slow my walking pace down so they could keep up.  I distinctly remember one afternoon William saying, "My legs hurt trying to keep up with you."  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  What was I in such a hurry to do?  And so from that day forward, as hard as it was, I tried to match my pace with theirs.   I couldn't walk ahead of them--it wasn't safe and my job was to protect them, to nurture them, to be there for them.  And what a joy it was to watch them explore the world, to see things I wouldn't have seen as I rushed through the day.  It was an even greater lesson, honor, and privledge to listen to them--to hear the stories of their days, to hear what was important to them and to listen to them dream.  As they got older they needed a little more freedom and to go at their own pace--sometimes alone. They need to know they can accomplish something with their own grit, with their own inner resources and strength.  Sometimes they needed and need to be alone; to struggle through their own life race but to always know I'll be there for them.  I will come back, and I will find them.  Some of their stories and dreams they still share with me, but I suspect some are just theirs.  And now as they are moving towards moving out and on with their lives, it sometimes feels like they are leaving me behind, and that is hard.  I am watching them move forward; I am cheering them on; and I know they are ready, but I miss those old days.  I suspect that one day when I am much older they will have to slow their pace down and wait for me.  It's a circle of life.

It reminds me of walking our journeys of faith.  Sometimes we need people to really slow down their pace or we need to really slow down ours and just be with each other wherever we are.  We need to listen to each others stories, hopes and dreams and walk hand in hand exploring our lives and the world God created for us.  Other times we have to struggle and move forward by ourselves understanding there are people who are cheering for us and who will continue to be there for us whether they have to come back or we have to slow down to wait for them.  Sometimes we may even have to break some rules to walk with someone.  Sometimes, as hard as it may be, we may even have to let go.

"Remember that life is short and we have too little time to gladden the hears of those who travel with us.  So be quick to be kind, make haste to love, and may the blessing of God Almighty, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit be with you, with those you love, and with all those you encounter this day and all the days of your life."  (Anonymous with some changes by me)