This morning as I was drinking coffee and folding laundry I was trying to think about anything else than what our family has gone through the past few weeks. I was also watching the news and I heard this. "President-elect Joe Biden said yesterday, 'To heal we must remember.'"
Shit...I don't want to remember.
Then I thought about mental illness and addiction and how I wouldn't wish it on any family but how at the same time I wish more people understood so the stigma and the shame would dissipate. (Like how I'm trying to use big words? What I really want to say is so it would f***ing disappear.)
Then I decided to ride the peloton and listen to a podcast I've been saving to listen to. It was on Hidden Brain and called The Secret Life of Secrets. Well worth a listen.
And now I have a fourth thought. I like to publish videos. I like to laugh and make other people laugh AND I like to be real. To be honest, I believe it's part of my call to be open and honest about the hard stuff of life. I haven't felt much like doing it lately, but although I haven't felt like it, I've missed it. So the fourth shorter version of the thought was, "Just fake it until you make it."
Here's what I realize. That statement is not just some goofy little feel-good statement. Or at least it's not for me. It's an expression of my faith. It's Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." in action.
PS: While you're faking it, also be gentle with yourself.
