Gifts We Give and the Stories They Tell

This morning I was feeling a little sentimental (okay a little more than usual).  Three of the people I love most in the world aren't here with me--Chris  is in Rome, my daddy is still living and working in Augusta, and Gangan died four years ago.   I know will see her again one day but for now she just remains a part of my heart (and a constant voice in my head.)  I was missing them, and so as I often do when I miss one of them, I put on a special piece of jewelry each had given me.  It may seem strange, or perhaps more people do this than I know, but wearing them reminds me of them and how they love me and I them.  As I put on the pieces, I retold myself the stories of receiving the gifts and what they meant to me.

New Year's Even 1988 Gangan took my sister, my cousin and me on a week long cruise.  She wanted to spend time with us and it's what we wanted to do.  (The following winter she took the grandsons out west to ski--yes she was in her 80's)  We had a wonderful time and the memories of that trip--the stories from that trip we still tell each and every time we are together.  One afternoon while we were in port, Gangan took us into a jewelry shop and told us to each pick something.  She gave us a dollar limit.  My eyes were drawn to a sapphire and pearl ring which was above the limit.  No matter how hard I tried I kept coming back to it (remember I was a 20 year old ).  Beth and Meredith each chose their piece while I continued to browse always returning to the ring.  I was trying it on "for the last time" and  Gangan came up behind me and said, "It looks beautiful on you.  I wish I had your long fingers.  I'll tell you what; we'll get it and it will be your 21st birthday present as well."  Two months later when I turned 21 Gangan drove to Charlottesville to take me out so that she could buy me my first legal drink.  Each time I wear this ring I think about Gangan and how important being in relationship with her grandchildren was to her.  She met us where we were; she became involved in our lives and in our interests.  She made the relationship about us and our needs.  And she rarely asked for anything in return.

Easter of 1989 I came home for the weekend.  Easter morning there was my basket filled with the things I got every year--jelly beans, white chocolate bunny, and peanut butter eggs.  Easter afternoon after our traditional dinner of lamb I got ready to leave for the drive back to school.  Daddy came into my room where I was packing and handed me a box.  "What is that?" I asked.  "A little something for Easter for you." I opened the box and inside was a beautiful pair of earrings.  "The sapphires reminded me of your eyes," Daddy said choking back tears.  I hugged him so hard; he had never given me anything like this before.  As I pulled away he said, "I wanted to be the first man to give you a piece of real jewelry."  Looking back all these years later I realize there was so much more to that gift.  He was admitting I was growing up (I had just turned 21) and he was trying to let go while also holding on.  And he was admitting I was ready-- This September Chris and I gave Sarah Katherine a  pearl bracelet for her 18th birthday.  Chris chose it, and as I watched him give it to her, saw them embrace both in tears, I realized it too was a gift that said "you're growing up but you'll always be my little girl."  I know how hard letting go of Sarah Katherine is for Chris (and me) and because of that I know how hard it was but how much grace Daddy showed as he let go of me.  Wearing these earrings reminds me that although he let me go we will always be connected.

On July 3, 1993 as we were walking into our engagement party Chris asked me to wait for a minute.  Everyone else went inside and he pulled out a box.  Inside the box was a gold locket with my monogram on it and the date inscribed on the back.  "I know you've always wanted one of these, and I wanted you to have this.  It will be the last time I give you anything with that monogram, but I hope you'll wear it always."  This gift was more than fulfilling my wish of having a gold locket; this gift said, "you are going to become my wife, take my name, but you will always be you." His gift acknowledged I was my own person with my own identity that started before we were a couple and that will continue afterwards.  And this gift represented the huge step we were both taking as we "officially" launched our engagement.

So I put these pieces of jewelry on today and I am reminded of the stories and the relationships behind them.  I am reminded that I am loved and respected for who I am both in relationship with each of these people but also as my own person.  And I wonder about the gifts I have given people and the stories and meanings they have created.  Our gifts to one another often go far beyond what they are to what they represent; the value of the gifts is far less important than the love that comes with them.  We give gifts to one another both tangible and intangible. Today take a moment and remember a gift and the person who gave it to you and give thanks to God for that relationship.

Today I am wearing three beautiful pieces of jewelry given to me by three people I love and who love me dearly.  Today I give thanks for them.