When I came to this Diocese 7 years ago already in the discernment process, I was "assigned" to the Rev. Dr. Charles Hawkins. He may have regretted that assignment! For the next 2 1/2 years Charles and I met on a regular basis as I interned for him during my time in seminary. Our conversations often went like this:
Me, "What do we believe about _____?"
Charles, "What do you believe?"
Me, "No I mean what does the Episcopal church believe about _______?"
Charles, "What do you believe?"
I hated those conversations--I had forgotten what brought me to the Episcopal church. It was and is a place where questions are encouraged, theology is worked out in community--lay and ordained, and where there is a broad range of understanding. It is a place where lex orandi lex credendi (the law of praying is the law of believing) is honored. Worship shapes belief. I thought I had to have the answer because I was going to be a priest, and Charles through his annoying, infuriating responses reminded me of what I had forgotten. I am grateful for my mentor, for my friend and for his willingness to sit with me week after week as I struggled through the questions and grew in my faith. Joan Chittister writes, "What forms us lives in us forever. The important thing is that it not be allowed to stunt our growth." and "Religion gives us the structures that weld the habits and disciplines of the soul into one integrated whole. Those same structures can also, however, smother the very spirit they intend to shape."
This week begins the week of prayer for Christian unity. This week was begun in the early 1900's by the World Council of Churches. Sometimes we get confused about the difference between unity and uniformity. Our prayer is not that we all worship the same, believe everything exactly the same--that is uniformity. Our prayer is that we all in our own contexts and cultures proclaim the Gospel--that we all answer the question "who you say that I am and how are you living in response to the answer." The prayer is that we all may be one so that the world may believe. One in our proclamation that God is love and that God loves everyone no exceptions and certainly regardless of their differences in worship styles. One in our proclamation that Jesus is the Emmanuel--God with us; God with us in the flesh. God with us still today. The week begins with the confession of St. Peter and ends with the confession of St. Paul. Two very different men, two men whose ministries were very different, but two men who both in their own context and with their own lives had to answer that question.
Jesus asked Peter--Peter, a jew, a fisherman, a leader of the apostles, a man who left his home and followed Jesus for three years "Who do you say that I am?" Not who do other people tell you to say that I am, not what do the creeds and rabbis tell you to say that I am, but who do you Peter say that I am and by 'saying' it also implies how will you live in answer to that question. I suspect Peter had to answer that question over and over--I suspect he had to rethink his answer as he denied Jesus three times and I suspect he also had to rethink his answer on the Sea of Galilee when the risen Christ asked him, 'Peter do you love me."
At the end of this week we will read about the conversion of St. Paul--Paul a man of the law, a well educated man, a man who persecuted those who followed Jesus, an apostle to the Gentiles--and we will hear how his ministry will answer the question, "Who do you say that I am?"
That question is being posed to all of us here. That question is being posed to you the Calvary community. Who do you as Calvary say that Jesus is and how will you live as a community, what will you do, who will you be in response to your answer? The question is being asked today just as it has been asked before and will continue to be asked. The question is who do you Calvary of today of 2015 say Jesus is--it is not who did the congregation of 50 years ago answer that question and live into that response; it is not who does one person or one group of people tell you Jesus is and how to answer the question, or how do others want you to answer that question--it is a question for you to answer together as a community.
And that question is also being posed to each of us individually. Who do you business people, doctors, lawyers, teachers, parents, grandparents, friends say that Jesus is and how are you living your life, in your own context in response to that question. It is a question we must continue to ask, we must continue to struggle with, to wrestle with--it is a question we must ask of ourselves and ask of one another. And it is a question we must answer each and every day of our lives as we live in our own contexts as disciples of Christ.
Since my ordination each year I have asked The Rt. Rev. Porter Taylor, bishop of Western North Carolina, another mentor and friend of the Doyles, for book recommendations. He is an incredibly spiritual man, a well read man, a humble man, and he never lets me down. This year the first book I am reading at his recommendation is Called to Question by Joan Chittister. I highly recommend it; it is a book that honors questions, encourages questions. It is a book of spiritual depth. Joan writes, "Once we empty ourselves of our certainties, we open ourselves to the mystery. We expose ourselves to the God in whom "we live and move and have our being." We bare ourselves to the possibility that God is seeking us in places and people and things we thought were outside the pale of the God of our spiritual childhood. Then life changes color, changes tone, changes purpose. We begin to live more fully, not just in touch with earth, but with the eternal sound of the universe as well." Amen
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