There is No "Just" and There is Little Justice

It was just after 7 pm and it had been a wonderful day on the beach.  I decided to "check" in on what Boss had been spending at the beach.  Yes, I admit it.  We are those controlling parents who have complete access to their children's checking accounts and can look any time--of course that also makes us those parents that with the click of a button can transfer money from our account to theirs....

I opened the online banking and almost fell out of my chair.  Overdrawn $3,700.00---no not Boss, ME!!!  I knew it couldn't be right, so I gathered my composure (sort of) and scrolled down.  Over the course of 27 minutes thousands of dollars had been taken out of the account and put into something called google tops.  Choosing not to or rather pretending not to panic I called the bank--

What a nice man on the phone.  I explained to him these were not my charges; I had no idea what they were, and then I explained I was out of town and I would need money so could he overnight me a new debit card.  He stated they could only do that to a person's residence, so I said, "This is my second home."  A slight lie--it's Daddy's but I needed that card.  Can't do it he told me, but I'll hold the card open for 30 minutes--until 8:01 pm for you to get to an ATM, get cash and fill up your car.

I raced barefoot to the ATM repeatedly calling Chris--no answer and then--card declined; to the gas station--card declined.  I called the bank back from the parking lot as I desperately at this point tried not to fall apart.  I knew my voice was shaking but I now explained to the woman what had been going on.  "I can't help you, but I can transfer you to another department who might be able to.  MIGHT!?!?!!  And did I hear disdain and disbelief in her voice--was she doubting my story?  My face flushed with what, anger? Embarrassment?  Shame?

I was transferred to another department and told my story again. "Well," she said, "You can't take any money because you are over $5000 overdrawn." "No," I shrieked, "I'm only $3000 overdrawn."  (I never thought words like that would come out of my mouth and that I would WANT to be $3000 overdrawn...)  "M'am, in the last 20 minutes several thousand dollars have been transferred out of your account."

Now if you're trying to figure out how someone can transfer thousands out while I cannot use my debit card for the same account--keep trying--I've had five days and I still can't figure it out.  I again tried to be calm and tell her that I needed money and when could this be resolved.  14-28 days she replied.  "Don't you have a credit card?"  "No," I almost proudly said, "We don't do that" (Another story..)  "Well, that would help you." Not seeing any option I swallowed my pride and went agains the financial promises Chris and I had made to each other and said, "Well can we open a credit card and you overnight it to me?"  "No m'am, not tonight--you're overdranwn."  For a brief moment I really thought a van would pull up and people would pile out saying, "Gotcha--smile you're on candy camera."  I mean seriously I felt like I was in a circular conversation and losing.  "Additionally," she added, "Because of this overdraft once you can open one your interest rate will be over 21%."

She then suggested I connect this card briefly to one of my other checking accounts and withdraw money from them.  This woman had no idea the state I was now in--but I knew she held all the cards...I couldn't stop myself from beginning to sob.  "You don't understand, first none of those accounts have more than $150.00 in them AND they are my children's accounts who are all in different states.  If I take their money they can't get home."  I thought that would soften her heart--instead I think she probably thought who is this lunatic woman who allows her children to be in different states, doesn't have a credit card and is overdrawn $5000?  I really think I heard her roll her eyes as she said, "There's nothing else I can do for you.  Thank you for calling Fifth Third; have a nice day."  She's very lucky I wasn't in the same room....

I kept trying to call Chris--no answer.  My mind was racing--what to do.  I headed back to the house where my good friend was waiting.  "I can just cover you." she said, "I know this is awful but we can make it work.  Most important is getting this figured out--both where the money is AND why someone can keep taking money when you can't."  It's wonderful to have good friends, but I was stil panicking.  I went into survival mode.

I tried to call Boss--no answer for over an hour.  Finally, desperately, I texted the girlfriend (a usual no no) and asked her to have him call me.  He called and I tried to explain this whole thing to him. "Bottom line," I said, "You have got to watch your spending.  I have no way to transfer money to you."  In that I know everything 17 year old boy voice he said, "I'm fine--I've got $135."  And I finally snapped.

"Do you realize it's only Wednesday and you are there until Sunday?  Do you realize that you have to pay for gas to get home?  Do you realize (and I thought this part--you entitled spoiled by me child) that it will take more gas than that?  And why are you paying for all the gas anyway?"  Back to the I know everything and have the world by the tail child, "Mama, gas is so cheap down here.  It's under $2.00/gallon; I'll be fine.  And I just hate asking people for money."  My head was spinning--you hate asking people for money?  Not me--you ask me..but I said, "Son, it may be cheaper down there, but here's the thing, you will drive through multiple states and you can't carry the pump with you.  It will get more expensive."  "Mama, I will be fine." he repeated, "You need to settle down."

Now I'm just going to say the way to get me to settle down is NOT to tell me to settle down.  Has this child learned anything in the 17 years he has lived with me.  I could feel myself getting out of control so decided to hang up.  I hung up frustrated--by what?By a 17 year old who thinks he knows everything? Well, yes, but also becaue that 17 year old is MY son in another state, and I can't help him--TEMPORARILY--what about those parents who live with that feeling all the time? And the truth is, I can help him--I just had to make a phone call to the parents he was with, let them know what was happening and he'd be taken care of. 

Immediately the phone rang--praise God it was Chris.  "My phone isn't working well, what's going on?" I tried to fill him in to the best of my ability.  We made a plan--he would go to the credit union bank, withdraw cash, and deposited it into William's account.  It would be available immediately, and I could have William's debit card for the rest of the week.  "The rest," he said, "We'll work out when you get home.  Try to relax and enjoy yourself. I'll deal with the bank.  They may lose us as clients. Oh, and I'll call Boss and make sure he knows I'll be able to get him money." He is the ying to my yang.

The next morning I sat on the beach, drinking coffee and I talked to Daddy as I do most mornings.  He and Marguerite were in Virginia but both said, "We can get you money if you need it.  We're heading back to Augusta today and can just drive some down to you."  I thanked them and truly was grateful they offered and grateful I didn't have to take them up on it.

All this verbage to get to the point.  What happens to those people who don't have supportive friends, a second account with money in it, a Daddy and bonus Mama who will bring you money?  What happens to people who have money stolen from them in this way or any way and have no resources to fix the problem?

I keep thinking about it--what if I was on vacation in a rental or a motel and all my money was taken and I had no resources?  I was in our family's beach home and could stay there for as long as I wanted--no one was going to evict me because I ran out of money.

What if I was a person living in any city USA and this happened, I had no other resources and children to feed, bills to pay and it would take 14-28 days to TRY to get it sorted out.  Sometimes it's hard to remember as we pay four tuitions and teenager car insurance so we think we are "struggling" that there are MORE people in the world whose struggles are just to put food on the table every night and to hope their paycheck stretches until the end of the month.

And the systems are set up to keep people down.  If this happened to someone with no other resources; no financial and emotional support--what would happen?  I know part of what might happen would be to have to take those loans at outrageous interest rates leading to a spiral of out of control debt and poverty.  People might be and are evicted, living in their cars or on the streets, begging for food.  People have to walk into food and clothing pantries, into emergency services like the 8 we have in Louisville (Association of Community Ministries), and they have to tell their stories over and over in an attempt to get help.  We will walk into the bank where we will tell our story with power because we have multiple accounts--we will tell our story backed by power--others have to tell their stories backed by pain. Telling these stories--even stories like mine where I was the victim--can elicit feelings of anger and shame.  Do we listen with compassion and empathy?

This incident showed me how people can so easily be victims--true victims and yet we so often look with disdain or think to ourselves, "If they would just...."  Just what?  Just have a friend who can easily lend you money?  Just have a husband who can leave his job in the middle of the day without having to sign out and lose pay so that he can go to your other account and get money for you while you lounge at the beach? Just have parents who will drive 100 miles to bring you money?  There is no just--and there is little justice. So many people are victims; victims of predators who use technology to steal and worse victims from systems that are not set up to help.

I wish I could wrap this up neatly--some succinct cute point to end with--something that will make us, will make me feel like a good person.  But I have no answers, what I do know is the questions have to keep being asked.  And they have to be asked not just by those who need justice but by those of us who have privilege--those of us who take justice for granted--How do we just bring justice?

I was a victim this week, but I am not a perpetual victim.  There are people who are....

Addendum: I feel that I have to add this three hours after I posted--a friend just said to me, "I was reading your blog and I was so nervous waiting for it to be over."  See, that's just it--for a mere 30-45 minutes I couldn't reach my husband, but I knew I would be able to.  And deep down I knew that with a few phone calls it would be sorted out--and meanwhile I'm at my family's beach house.  Yet, the panic I felt was real and palpable.  I can't imagine living like that 24/7 and no one should have to imagine it much less live that way--but they do, and it's wrong.