A Jumbled Jewelry Box

Just over 5 years ago we moved into our house.  It was not the best

timing--I was in the middle of CPE at a trauma 1 hospital (translation chaplain resident for a hospital that has lots of trauma--50+ hour work weeks, non-stop ER work and a cancer center), but interest rates were way down and we had been (remember there are 6 of us) living for 22 months in 900 square feet of cinderblock walls.  It was time even if it wasn't a good time.

Because it wasn't good time, well let's just say the packing wasn't exactly my usual organized self. There are still boxes in the garage I have yet to
open--the two car garage that can fit no cars...Chris and I may attack that this afternoon...But the one thing that has haunted me for 5+ years has been my jewelry box.

I have a lovely jewelry box Chris gave me for my birthday right after we were married, and I have lovely jewelry to go into the box, but 5 years ago I put it on the floor of my car where it became one big jumbled mess--and that is how it has remained.  Over the years there have been times when I have said to myself, this is the time, but then I start trying to untangle and organize, and well I just give up.  It's too hard; it takes too long, and so I would close the box (at least as far as it would close) and move onto something else. I had other jewelry to wear; I've been given new jewelry over these past 5 years, and besides it seems that every time the girls see me near the jewelry box they start telling me what they want when I die (I think I need a personal food tester) so I tell myself it's fine, let it go...

Thursday was different.  Perhaps it's because the downstairs of our house is a demolition site, perhaps

Really this IS organized

it's because I needed to control something in my life that seems so out of control, but without thinking, I suddenly moved that jewelry box to my bed and started on the mess.  I took everything out; I wiped it out; I sorted earrings and even got rid of some that had no match.  (Seriously have I really believed I was going to find the match to an earring I lost 4 moves ago?  People don't judge--letting go is hard!!)

Bracelets--won't tangle

As I was working I began to think about how this jumbled jewelry box was a lot like life and relationships.  Life and relationships can become  tangled messes and sometimes it's just easier to ignore, to move onto something else.  As I was untangling some of the jewelry I found pieces I had forgotten about--pieces that meant a great deal to me even some quite valuable pieces.  And I thought about how sometimes in life when things seem tangled and overwhelming it's easier to just stay closed off; it's easier to let relationships that are entangled stop being a part of us--oh they're in the back ground and every once in awhile we see them and think, "I should do something about that" but then we just turn our heads, our minds, and our hearts away and stay in relationships that are easy and convenient.

But I wonder when we do that what we're missing?  It's true that some pieces of jewelry were so badly bent and broken there was no reason to even take them to be repaired--it wasn't worth the money.  And sometimes relationships are that way.  But I did hold those pieces, remember when I got them, times I wore them, and I could smile before I let them go.  I remembered the wholeness of them and not the brokenness.  Are there relationships that need to be let go?  Absolutely, but can we let go remembering the good, the wholeness, the value that was?

There were other pieces--those valuable both in dollars and sentiment that I am so glad I now have

Sabika 

untangled, and I'm again able to wear.  It took work; it took reading glasses to see; it took lots of time, but it was worth it.  No longer were those pieces just a part of the big tangled mess; they were now individual--so I wonder, are there relationships that have been tangled up with a whole lot of other stuff and so seem to have lost their individual value?  I thought particularly about family relationships, family dynamics and how all the people can become so entangled so enmeshed that we forget that we can have individual relationships--relationships can be both a part of the whole--all the jewelry in the box--and individual--each piece standing alone.

I sorted and sorted and sorted.  I thought about the really valuable pieces, how long I've had them, who gave them to me,  and I have to admit I even thought about how I would divide them up.  I thought about relationships in my life that are so valuable to me, relationships that are and will be lifelong, and relationships that I know will continue with my children long after I'm gone.

Thank you Jennie for the idea

I looked at my fun jewelry some of which is waaaaaay out of date (I've put that away to let my granddaughters play with one day--my granddaughters who only exist in my mind but who will think I'm so cool one day in the very far future when I pull that box out), and I thought about how sometimes we have relationships that are really fun and in the moment, but they were there for a season, and then we need to let go, and that's okay.

I looked through and sorted my costume jewelry much of which I kept, and I thought about how we
have relationships that are not as "valuable" not as deep as others but they still have a part of our lives--they are still valuable in their own way, and they're worth keeping.

It felt good when I was finished.  It took a long time, a good bit of patience, but it was worth it. Relationships are too.