Appropriate Clothes and Adult Children

This morning I had two things on my mind--scratch that three. First, it was 4:30 am and the dogs, for the first time in a week, weren't barking. Now, you might think that is a good thing and most of the time I would agree. But see, I had to be up at 4:30 to get ready to drive to C'ville for a cortisone injection, so now that we have finally defeated the dogs being out of routine, I was disturbing it AGAIN! (Oh, and this is my feeble attempt not to write about the other two.....)

Second, I was trying to decide if I was going to be brave and transparent and vlog about standing by and watching your children make decisions you either question, don't agree with, or downright fear. I was going to talk about how hard it is to keep your opinions to yourself (you can read myself if you'd like), and how sometimes I do well and sometimes, well remember we've always agreed to pay for their therapy....

And finally, I was grabbing a pair of jeans and t-shirt to throw on to head out the door after a little coffee. I wanted to grab them quickly to keep from having to turn on a light or flashlight and jingle (charm bracelets were on) around the bedroom waking up my soundly sleeping and overly tired husband, but I froze because I heard a voice in my head. No, not the kind of voice I need to report to my therapist--my mother's voice! (Well maybe...)

Anyway, I heard the voice "reminding" me that when traveling on an airplane or going to the doctor, you dress appropriately, and by "appropriately" it means jeans and a t-shirt are not included. As I let the dogs out (again, disrupting their schedule), I let my mother's voice and my desire to not awaken my husband have a full-on WWE wrestling match. Spoiler alert--my mother's voice won. Now if you are wondering why a 54-year-old woman lets her mother's voice in her head terrify her to the point of possibly sacrificing her husband's much-needed sleep, you have never sat on a fully made bed at her
house! (Can I get an "Amen" Lynn Barton?)

As I was looking for a dress and getting myself "doctor's office appropriate," it suddenly hit me. We rear our children the best we can. Chris and I spent a lot of time talking about what we wanted to make sure our children took with them into adulthood, and we spent time in prayer with the children, with each other, and individually. I thought about Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

I get that doesn't mean our children will make decisions exactly how we want or think they should. They may even make some decisions, say and do some things we totally disagree with--and in the spirit of transparency, they have, but this morning I had a sense of peace. Peace that we did the best we could. We showered them with love, with faith, and yes, with the confidence to be independent and think for themselves. 

I'm now sitting here thinking two things. First, there is definitely the possibility some of the decisions adult children make that we don't think are good decisions may indeed be good decisions. I also hope they do sometimes remember some of the things we taught them. But the second is this--right after getting to the doctor's office I had to take off my very appropriate clothes and put on a hospital gown, so WHY does what I wear to get there really matter? 

Pretty sure next time I go to the doctor, I will still follow those directions--some things are harder than others....

Hurt Pride and The Grinch

Yep, it's true. I got my feelings hurt--really hurt. And my pride--maybe that was worse. SOOO....I did what any slightly neurotic, trying to be a mature adult would do.

I took a bath. And now it's going to sound almost like If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

I took a bath and read another sappy Christmas kindle unlimited novel. While I was reading about how everything works out within a matter of days for these traumatized women, I thought about how I could be "traumatized" by what happened and it might keep me from continuing to help others. That made me think about The Grinch. which made me decide I needed to rewatch How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but probably not the way we watched it in college--or maybe I should. Who knows? (Can you say Hooville?) 

Thinking about wanting to watch the show made me think AGAIN about how I got scammed and that I could a) turn into the grinch--pre his heart getting big or b) hope the person that scammed me could turn into the grinch post his heart getting big or c) I could just move on.

I went with c. (sort of)

So I got out of the bath and put on my big girl panties which translates to I put on my monogrammed leggings. Then I went downstairs and refilled the treat baskets for the delivery people. As I was refilling the basket I thought about how people have said, "What if just neighborhood people (they probably meant those pesky children that I adore) walk up and take some of the treats?" What if they do? Why do I care? If they're that hungry and/or thirsty, have at it. Which made me think AGAIN about the people who went to so much effort to get money from me. That was a lot of work--I hope it was worth it. Really I do.

Then I thought there is a very real possibility the people who broke into our cars last summer or people who have been going around our neighborhood breaking into cars might also be fortifying themselves with the treats I have set out. I remembered one time our cars got broken into the people brought everything back. So I thought about The Grinch again which made me think about the holidays. Thinking about holidays reminded me I still had sweet potatoes leftover from Thanksgiving.

Into the kitchen I went to make the sweet potatoes streusel my son loves. And you know what I did? I doubled the streusel part AND I didn't cook it in one of my advent dishes. Nope! I got out the mack daddy Christmas dish. Take that!!

Now I'm working on finding the perfect warm outfit to wear to go find an outside bar to watch college football with my husband, that is after I finish ordering Christmas gifts for the child assigned to our family. I'm going to be okay. The world is going to be okay (thankfully I'm not in charge of that). I'm going to keep giving when I can. The rest I'll leave up to God--I do believe God is in charge and the world will be reconciled.

Don't mean to be impatient God, but definitely would not mind you stepping up your timeline....