Last night Christopher crept down the stairs with tears streaming down his face and a look of total sadness. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn't say. Knowing our family, I assumed one of his siblings was bleeding upstairs and we were on our way to the Emergency Room, but because I heard no screaming I discarded that thought. I then assumed he was coming down to confess some horrible act he had committed that day, but again I was wrong. He came over very close to me and said, "I don't want you to get mad" (back to the he must have done something thought) and then he whispered, "I miss England." My first response was "Why would I get mad? I miss it very much too." "But you never talk about it", he replied.
Why don't I talk about it? Probably some selfish reasons and some Mama Bear reasons. I don't talk about it because I miss it dreadfully--the people, the place and who I was there. And I also don't talk about it because I thought that made it easier on the children. They all seem to be doing so well settling in here and I didn't want to upset the apple cart. But I was wrong--they (or at least Christopher) needs to talk about it.
Words--they are powerful. How often we hear or give warnings about the power of words. "Choose your words wisely" "Words can rip you apart like a knife" "Think before you speak" "You can't take back what you said once it's out" Yes they are powerful and can be wielded in horrible hurtful ways, but they can also be a soothing blanket. They can comfort, bring laughter, and bring peace. Maybe there are times we shouldn't worry so much about words and instead let them come freely. It seems that like so many things in life, it is a thin line--how we use or don't use our words. I don't know how we stay on the right side of the line and never let our words hurt others. I suppose that's impossible and thus we have the power of forgiveness (for a later blog). But I do know now that sometimes our fear of using words, our silence, causes just as much pain. I don't have the answer to always know when to speak and when to stay quiet, but I do know that today we're talking all about England!
3 comments:
Good stuff! Having been there for Christopher's conversation, this provoked alot of thought.
You can tell Christopher - and the rest of the family that we miss all of you here in Tarvin. It's a big jump even if for you it's been a jump back home. I wonder if grief spans the time it takes to change our mind form the old situation to the new. Tell Christopher that Leicester City football supporters are facing grief like we've never known it - relegated to the third tier of English football for the first time. Now that does take some getting used to!
Christopher... I always feel like I leave a little piece of myself behind in every home we have ever had. Hopefully...not a piece I need! (: It's the way God intended it...that we live and share and long for what we left behind. Just think, in Christ, we never have to say "good-bye". It's just, "See you later!".
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