My Advice--That No One Requested

Two days ago my sister put this on facebook: "Being iced in makes you think of the small things. After hours of singing and dancing to Pandora with Everett in the kitchen, I've realized he's growing up too quickly, and I'll miss these slow, uneventful days more than anything else."  (My nephew is almost 4 months old.)  For the first time ever, reading those words did not bring me to tears and begging Chris for just one more baby--that's not to say I wouldn't take one more!  (or two--)  This time, however,  I realized that while I do miss those days, those days helped create these days, and they're pretty great.

I loved being at home with the children.  I loved the slow, uneventful days with nowhere particular to be.  But to say I loved every minute of it--I'm a priest; I can't lie.  There were days, many days,  that were just, well, LOOOONG!  People would tell me, "enjoy these days they go by so quickly", and I would think, "Are you kidding me?  Please let some of these days go by!"  I clearly remember one morning as I stood in front of the kitchen window (my neighbors saw way more than they should have through that kitchen window--can I hear an "Amen" Art and Ramona?) nursing Caroline, William on my other hip, Christopher pulling on my robe sash, and Sarah Katherine saying, "No only Mommy can pour my milk" as Chris was trying to pour her milk and leave for work at the same time.   "I'll get it," I said, "Just go."  "I hate leaving when it's like this," Chris genuinely replied.  His compassion was more than I could bear--"At least you get to leave! Make a run for it! Go fast!"  And we both laughed as he leaned over the sticky hands and heads of the children to plant a kiss on my cheek desperately trying to keep them from touching his semi-clean clothes.  So yes, as much as I enjoyed those days, I must admit there were days I wished the time would go by more quickly. Now I realize they went by far too quickly.  But the words of advice (that neither Carson nor anyone else has asked for but I'm giving nonetheless) are yes, enjoy these moments, they go by too quickly, but also know that these moments will turn into other moments and those too will be great moments.  Just that afternoon after reading her post, I experienced one of those connected moments.

We always took the children to sporting events (shocking isn't it?); we would hold their hands as they gingerly stepped up and down the bleachers.  Wednesday night after his basketball game, I saw Boss walk over and take the hand of a girl as she semi-steadily climbed down the bleachers.  And they walked off... (I tried not to cringe)

The memories began flooding and the connections being made...

When Boss was 2, 3, and 4 not a day went by that his teachers didn't have to peel him off me screaming and begging me not to leave him.  (Those days were brutal for me--many days spent crying in the parking lot begging Chris to let me pull him out and keep him home.)  But each of those days as they would pry his little fingers from around my body, I would lean down,  kiss his head, say I love you and confidently (at least I tried to pretend I was confident) walk out the door.  These days as he leaves he leans down, kisses my head, says he loves me and confidently (I hope) walks out the door. (It takes every bit of my will power not to grab hold of him so tightly that he has to pry my fingers off him--instead I smile, say I love you" and watch him leave.)

The endless knock knock and other jokes that Caroline told (that were far from funny and made absolutely no sense) but I listened and I laughed at them all the same (because she wouldn't stop until I did) and now she is one of the funniest people I know.

The times we took them to restaurants and felt like we'd been through a wrestling match, (and Chris ALWAYS said, "We're never doing this again", but we did.) and now we love to both go out to restaurants as a family or sit around the dining room table at home--meal times, togetherness, and occasionally manners!

The plays the children would put on (and start over every time one person messed up which was ALOT) and now watching them on stage makes my heart burst and the tears fall.

The number of diapers and band-aids we "wasted" taking care of their babies and stuffed animals (yes even the boys) and now seeing them care for their cousins and God-siblings with the same loving care--let's just say, nothing was wasted.

The number of times SK said, "When I grow up I want to be just like you." and now she says, "Thank you for letting me be me."  Or the times William said, "I want to live with you forever." and now says, "I want to see the world, but I hope you'll always have this house for me to come visit." 

Those Days

And now

So yes, I miss those days; there are times I long for those days; but I see what I didn't then.  Those days and how we chose to live them directly impact these days. I suspect these days will impact the ones to come.  So,enjoy those days and look forward to the future--it's all good!