People ARE Created Good--I Believe That No Matter What

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (to quote one of my favorite children's authors Judith Viorst).  It didn't start that way, but then I received a phone call....

Let me back up and give the context.  Several days ago I shared some information with a friend.  We had a mutual friend who needed support--the information was shared with good intentions and out of love and concern, but it was repeated.  It was reinterpreted and repeated and repeated and repeated, and so I received a phone call.

The phone call came from a colleague--someone I've met on a few occasions but not someone I know well and certainly not someone who knows me.  He asked me what I'd been saying and to whom.  I racked my brain--I had only discussed this situation and only briefly with two people and NEVER had I said what was being attributed to me.  So I denied it; I told him I don't know why that was being said.  We ended the phone call on seemingly good terms.  I don't know if he believed me, but we hung up cordially.  I put the phone down and my body began to visibly shake. I've been "caught" in situations before where I was wrong (I'm 46; I've been an adolescent girl--of course there have been those situations), and those times were uncomfortable but I took it because, well I was wrong.  This time was different; I was shaken to my core.  Tears sprang to my eyes not only for myself and false accusations but also for my friend who was the person in the situation anyway.  Somehow rumors were being spread that could potentially hurt her more and my name was attached.  I couldn't breathe and I couldn't let it go.

Chris is out of town, in meetings, and hard to get.  I began to pace in my office--I needed to process.  I was hesitant to call anyone; I felt vulnerable and I didn't want to create another situation like the one that just happened.  My anxiety won (and my complete trust in this friend) and so I made the call.  (In total honesty she also was in a meeting so we texted) I told my friend what had happened and how awful I felt.  She listened and finally said, "Katherine, anyone who knows you knows you would never say something like that and further that you would do nothing to hurt this situation or stir anything up.  Let it go."  Here's the problem--"anyone who knows me"--this person doesn't.  That's the problem with technology and the interconnectedness of the world.  People get quoted or misquoted and it spreads far and wide, outside of known circles and into the world. Judgments are made about people with no context, no knowledge and no fact checking.  I suppose that as difficult as the call was for me, I was one of the lucky ones, I had a chance to "clear my name"--but I couldn't let it go.

All afternoon I was distracted; I hurt and the words from the Book of Common Prayer, "forgive me for sins known and unknown, things done and left undone" kept pulsating through my body.  I had to call my colleague back.  One part of my mind kept saying, "let it go--you could stir things up more--let it go."  But my heart was saying, "People don't just attach names with no basis--sins unknown-I need to ask for forgiveness."  With fear and trepidation I called him back.  We talked and together we were able to piece together what had happened.  It did start with me; I had stated a fact but that fact was reinterpreted and passed on.  I asked for forgiveness and it was given.  But I haven't let it go.

What does this say about my theology of the goodness of humanity and what of my theology of caring for others?  I believe completely that we are created in the image of God and we are all created inherently good.  I also know that while I believe that, I have been guilty more times than I'd like to not extend that grace to others.  I have heard things about people who I don't know well and I have believed them; I have passed judgement about situations that I had no business judging.  I haven't made the phone call.  I wonder how the world would be different if we all behaved as though we believed in the goodness of humanity--if we believed in good intentions?  Would we make more phone calls?   I also believe strongly in caring for one another--in extending compassion and love to those who are hurt, lonely, widowed, orphaned, homeless.  Loving like that brings vulnerability; sometimes it requires putting ourselves in situations where we can be misunderstood or criticized.  Sometimes it means allowing others to think the worst of us to care for the other.

I didn't sleep well.  I keep going over this situation and wondering what I could have done differently.  My natural inclination is to shut down--to withdraw from the world.  My natural maladjusted thought process is to believe that this one situation defines my entire being--that I made a mistake and that makes me "bad".  I can believe in the goodness of others but I don't always give myself that same grace.  I don't always give others that grace.  How would we behave if we did believe and acted on the belief in the goodness of others?  Would we forgive more?  Would we judge less?  Make more phone calls, extend more grace, bring more peace?  Would we in our actions allow others to see glimpses of the love and mercy of God--would we and others catch glimpses of the Kingdom of God?

I know as hard as it can and will be I will also continue to reach out and to love.  I will reach out with a thicker shell and a little more thought, but I cannot not love others.  I believe we are all called to extend love and compassion to others even when that may be uncomfortable for us, even when it exposes us to the criticisms of others.  How would the world be different if we all reached out, if we all behaved as though we believed in the goodness of others and their intentions?  How many people would feel God's love through us if we didn't allow our own vulnerabilities and fears to drive our behavior, to paralyze our actions, to prevent us from extending the hand of love and mercy and compassion and grace?  I believe that as hard as it is, as scary as it is, that if we don't reach out in love, evil wins.  And I refuse to be a part of that.  Now to begin forgiving myself...