Just Katherine--Patron Saint of Hot Messes: Slobs and Neat Freaks--All Created in the Image of God

Current State

Following morning

About a week ago Chris and I were walking late one Sunday evening. I mentioned I had been told the houses were selling quickly and sometimes above asking price in our neighborhood so if we wanted to move now might be the time. Then we laughed about how the children have become such creatures of tradition that every time we even mention moving they go up in arms (and lately SK goes up in arms only to dissolve in tears because even though we assure her she would still have a room she says, "It won't be one I actually lived in!") Chris said, "Face it; we'll be in this house forever." "Well," I replied picturing the current state of our dining room (okay, the constant state of our dining room), "At least it's getting warmer so we can just eat outside instead of having to clear the dining room table every night." And so as often happens, I started thinking...

Our house is so incredibly different than the one I grew up in. It only begins with the dining room--ours covered in books typically with all four around the table studying, laughing, and stressing. (And yes, they all do have desks--they choose to be here.) The dining room in my childhood home was used only for eating--on fine china and with sterling silver every night. I have fine china, several sets, (zoom in on the picture) and we do use it some...

Every morning before I left for school I had to make my bed (hospital corners nothing sticking out), throw pillows neatly placed. (My friends from those years will want everyone to know that once the bed was made we were not allowed to sit on it--and WE OBEYED!!!) Closet doors shut--again nothing sticking out; dresser drawers closed--again nothing sticking out; and nothing on the floor or any surface. Blinds open and exactly equal. Then I had to windex the bathroom mirror and use comet to clean out the sink and clean off the counter. Honestly I didn't know this was weird--half way through my third year in college I discovered it was considered "neurotic". "Why" I asked my three apartment mates, "didn't you tell me this was weird?" They very graciously explained, "Why would we do that? You were cleaning our bathroom everyday!" Still love those three women...

Sheets balled up at the end; blinds not open

My bed

Well, the blinds are open

My children, on the other hand, do not leave their rooms in quite the same state of tidiness that I did. Sometimes it bothers me, but most of the time I think about how hard they work in school and in their extra curricular activities; they are, most of the time, happy and pleasant, so I let it go. But still I sometimes wonder if I'm doing it "right" or if I'm lazy or not good enough.

Notice the open drawers in addition to unmade beds.

In the early years of my married life, I panicked every time my mother was coming. I went on a tear cleaning baseboards and ceiling fans. She kept and keeps a beautiful home--you can eat off the kitchen floor on any given day. I thought she did it the right way and somehow I was flawed because my house had toys on the floor and mail piled on the counters. One day when the children were fairly young one of them commented on how I "changed" when Babah was coming and they liked me better the other way.

So often people compare themselves to others and only see the differences--these differences can be threatening and they can lead to lashing out or to self loathing. (Get parents talking about where they're sending children to school and you are in a petri dish of this phenomena.) People making different choices sometimes causes us to question our own--to doubt ourselves, to think our different choice may somehow be not just different but wrong. I believe life is about choices; choices that have no intrinsic value in and of themselves but that help to define who we are as people--different people, different choices. The choices we make can be illustrative of what we value, how we set our priorities, and they can simply be choices on how we choose to live because they feel right. Trying to make choices based solely on what other people do or think leads to a life of inauthenticity, and I believe God calls us to be authentic.