One very early morning last week Boss came to me and said, "Mama I need you to know something. I don't need you to do anything but just listen. William is having a really hard time at school right now. There are some kids picking on him and making fun of him for trying to lose weight. They used to just call him Pork chop and Fat ass; that didn't seem to bother him but now that he's trying to get in shape it is. He thinks they're his friends, but their just punks who aren't supporting him at all. It's really upsetting him, but he's talking to me about it. I just need you to know that he might need some space. I'm not asking you to do anything." I looked at him straight in the eye and said, "But I need you to promise me that if it gets worse you will tell me." "I will; I promise."
Perhaps I should have been more clear--Friday afternoon while driving home from C'ville I got a call from Boss. He was in trouble he said. He'd gone to talk to the boy and the boy denied it, "I'm sorry Mama I just lost it and I pushed him around. I don't know what to do." I told him to go to the Dean of Students--it was a long 30 minutes before I heard back.
Boss was sent home and the administration told me they would meet the following day to decide next steps. When I got home both boys were there. Boss, "I think they're going to ask me to leave. We need a plan for where I'm going to go." While I too was panicking, I tried to remain calm. "What have they done before when there's been a fight?" He quietly answered, "I've never heard of there being one." And so the waiting began....
I would like to say that I have progressed far enough in life to not care what people think, but that would be a lie. I particularly care what people think about my children, and I really care if people have the wrong information. We all knew what Boss had done was wrong, but I also didn't want people to think he attacked (yes I can be dramatic--I am Caroline's mother) someone for no reason. I texted three good friends and told them what happened. That may have been one of the smartest things I have ever done. Over the next 24 hours, Chris and I felt the love and support of a community of friends, people who were willing to look beyond the incident and remind us that they knew Boss was a good kid who just made a bad decision and that they were here for us no matter what.
 |
| Kind heart, but poor grammar |
The next morning as William was leaving for mock trial he said, "I've sent an email to the administration. I don't want something bad to happen to Christopher because of me. I should have let it go." I reminded him that while what Christopher did wasn't right, neither was what the other young man was doing to him. "Yeah but I still think it's my fault." He has such a loving spirit. He also understands better than some adults even that bad decisions should not be definitive.
Late Saturday night we got the email--five days suspension. Boss was visibly relieved, "I just want to make sure I can get my assignments made up."
Yesterday he came down to work with me. He wanted to help me get my office packed. "Walt and I talked," he informed me, "We don't want you to have to do this yourself. We know it's really hard and emotional and we want it done today." And then he worked tirelessly loading box after box and then unloading it before I got home.
This morning while folding laundry in front of the fire I thought of my boys and their kind gentle spirits. William's is always so evident to everyone, but Boss' is much more hidden. And yet over the last few weeks I have seen so much of his kind heart--the same kind heart that led him to make a bad decision. And I wished everyone saw it the way I do. It made me sad thinking there might be people who think because of a bad choice he's a bad kid. And then it struck me, there is another mama right here in Louisville (and probably more than one) who also may be hoping her son's goodness is known despite his bad choice. The Psalm this morning says, "I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) That means everyone---I sent up a prayer for all of these boys giving thanks that they are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.
No comments:
Post a Comment