It's Not About the Money

It's not about the money.                                       
Maybe it should be.      

But it's not about the money.      

It's about the investment in hopes and dreams.

It's not about the money.

It's about the broken hearts and broken relationships and trying to put them back together again.                                                                                                                                                              And again.

It's not about the money.

It's about the put back together broken hearts that now have shards of light shining through because every time they break there are slivers you can no longer find.

It's not about the money.  

Hopes and dreams cannot be bought. 

Broken hearts take time to mend--lots of time.                                                                                     And pain.

It's not about the money.

I wish it was about the money.

Choices, Consequences, and Unconditional Love

This week I am having what my sister calls, "a world's colliding" week. It's my last summer as Director for Youth and Young Adults in Kentucky, and there are several boys from Boys Home of Virginia on staff and here as campers. All Saints is a place of unconditional love and acceptance--no matter what. Read on...

It was Senior High week in the summer of 2018, and a young man made a poor decision. 

Let me give a little, probably oversharing information. This young man had been a camper for years.  And I'll be honest, he was/is one of my all time favorites. (I know, I know--we're not supposed to have favorites. But he's loud and funny and dances with me....appropriately of course). He was a leader around camp, and I fully expected him to be on staff one day. But he was 16, thought what he was doing was funny--it wasn't.

There were consequences--severe consequences that extended beyond camp. I'll just admit it. I was heartbroken. 

The young man owned his mistake and apologized, and learned that while forgiveness comes, consequences remain.

October 2018 we gathered again for our fall retreat. I was inside a building and got a text asking me to step outside. The young man was standing there. He looked at me and asked, "Am I welcome here? I don't have to stay if it makes people uncomfortable." Tears welled in both our eyes. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "you are always welcome here. God loves you unconditionally and so do I."

That night during community meeting he asked to speak to the group. He asked for forgiveness. 

Last night, the young man, now a college student who volunteers in a neighborhood ministry organizing and coaching a soccer team for refugees, working with blessing boxes and all kinds of other ministries, brought a couple of campers to Senior High week. "MAMA D!" he shouted. As soon as his Covid test was negative, he jumped out of the car and threw his arms around me. 

Whoever you are, whatever you've done God loves you no exceptions. Find your place that serves as that constant reminder in your life. I've found mine....

I'd also like to give a shout out to The Episcopal Church and our commitment to Safeguarding God's Children. When this incident occurred, there was a process already in place. There is a reason we do what we do. Health and healing for all God's children.

Is There a Month for Us?

Please know I don't mean to be selfish or to try to co-opt the pain those struggling with mental health and/or addiction face, and I celebrate mental health awareness month in May and national recovery month in September, but I also just wonder, is there a month for us?

Is there a month for those of us who love those who struggle? A month for those of us whose lives are turned upside down repeatedly? A month for those of us who live on hope, then it crashes, then we struggle to hope again?

Is there a month for those of us whose cars are wrecked? A month for those of us whose homes become places of carnage instead of havens? A month for those of us who clean up those messes and welcome our loved ones back?

Is there a month for those of us who don't sleep while we wait for the phone to ring? A month for those of us who leave work and social events to answer that phone call?

Is there a month for those of us who sacrifice time, energy, and dare I say it, yes money one more time, and then one more time, and then one more time?

Is there a month for those of us who have to choose between loving our person and being the source of endless gossip? Is there a month for us who are so lonely and afraid? Is there a month for us who want to climb into our beds, cover our heads and hide but instead have to keep on working, keep on living?

Is there a month for those of us whose family and friend relationships are damaged or at the very least changed due to no fault of our own? Or maybe it is our fault...

Maybe it's not fair to ask, but I do wonder, is there a month for us?