Too Woke

I went to bed angry. I didn't sleep much, and I got out of bed angry. Not angry like I want to hurt someone or damage something. Angry like my heart is broken, and I don't understand the world. Lots of angry tears....

There are accusations of people (me included) of being "too woke." Here's the thing, people aren't even using the term correctly. Instead, a word that started being used in the 1930's to raise awareness of social and political issues affecting the African American community has been weaponized. (OriginalDefination) It has been weaponized, in my opinion, to criticize and demean those who think differently. And I'll say it, pretty sure I'll get backlash, but I see it being used to continue to marginalize and control.

Cause here's the thing. If....

Respecting the honor and dignity of every human being regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, profession or any other "catagory."

Apologizing to others when I have wronged them regardless of their age, gender, race--you get it read the above.

Respecting that others' faiths are valid.

Understanding that people are complex and one action, one word, one experience does not define their complete humanity.

Caring for others with empathy, compassion and grace

Understanding I don't have all the answers and that through talking and sharing with others who are different, I can grow and be transformed. 

Admitting I can be and sometimes am wrong.

Striving for justice and peace for all people not just the ones I like.

Believing that every child deserves to feel safe and loved, deserves access to education and healthcare, shouldn't have to go to bed hungry and cold--really not just every child, but every person.

Recognizing that when we demean and tear others down, we are demeaning and tearing down the image of God in whom we were all created.

Listening to others stories and understanding their life experiences are different than mine and just like my life has been shaped by my experiences, so have theirs.

Recognizing that actions have consequences but also that doesn't mean second and third, maybe even fourth chances may be necessary for people who are just trying to do the best they can. Isn't God about second and third and more chances?

If all that is being too woke, then actually people are wrong,  I'm not woke enough. 

But I'm trying. 

(And maybe we can just call it being a good human being and following God's command to love others as we love ourselves.)

Things I Wonder

 I went to get a massage this afternoon. In full disclosure, I get them fairly regularly--at least monthly.

Today it was different. She was yanking on my limbs and stretching them in a way she never has before. I'm not complaining; it felt great. It was just different. Half way through I asked her why things were different. She responded, "You are so tight like you've been living in the fetal position with your head between your knees." I'm not sure why but the image of the woman caught in adultery about to be stoned popped into my head and wouldn't leave. (John 8:1-11)

I started thinking about it, and I thought I remembered it wasn't explicitly said she was caught in adultery. Alas, maybe that's what I wanted to believe. The story actually does begin with the words, "The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and, making her stand before all of them,  they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery." It doesn't say who caught her in adultery. Was she set up? Did someone lie? Or, was it true? Any or all could be the truth. But that's not what I dwelled on while lying on the table having my limbs stretched.

I thought about how Jesus knelt down and was writing in the dirt. I have always imagined he did that for two reasons. One he wanted to write whatever he was writing (we don't know what it was) and also because he wanted to be face to face and eye to eye. I imagine her head was down. I definitely could be wrong about that. Perhaps she was defiant and staring the men accusing her down. But knowing what I know about women's positions in the first century, I find that hard to believe.

I also wonder why she was committing adultery. Was she a woman in love with someone she shouldn't have been? Or just as likely was she a widow trying to find a way to support herself and possibly her family? 

What I can imagine is the woman holding her head down and perhaps thinking, "Just get this over with. I am standing here in front of all these people and I'm ready to just be gone." I wonder if she hung her head because she was thinking not only of this sin but also of every mistake she had ever made intentionally or not. I wonder if she was thinking about every moment of her life and how she had failed her friends, her family and her God? I wonder if she didn't want to look up because maybe she had children or friends or family in the vicinity. I wonder if she was trying to hide her shame, but also wanting to prevent those she loved from experiencing pain. 

Jesus challenges those standing around for the person without sin to throw the first stone. One by one they all go away. Today lying on the massage table I wondered if she wished they hadn't. Yes her life was spared, but what will her life look like now? Will those who walked away welcome her back into their community? Will her family accept her again despite her sins or will she now be truly alone?

Jesus forgives her. That is the point of the story; that and to point out there are none of us without sin. I imagine she did feel some relief (but we don't really know what she even knew about Jesus and who he was). Forgiveness from God without reconciliation with community sounds and feels pretty lonely to me.

There definitely could be people she hurt with her actions. And those actions have consequences, but I keep wondering, "What happened to her? What was her life like moving forward?" Was there ever any reconciliation? 

She has messed up in her life as we all have. Perhaps she did commit adultery and was caught in the act, but even if that wasn't it, I'm sure there was something else. Today I'm wondering. Did her life get better or were there some days she wished Jesus had just let them stone her?

I wonder if she began to walk straighter, looked people in the eye and lived a full life. Or, if she desperately needed a massage table because she couldn't and didn't forgive herself.