Mommed

Yesterday walking across campus I was talking to a fellow classmate. We are all beyond exhausted with midterms. I asked my friend when she was going home to Texas. She said Friday afternoon, and I can't wait. I really need to be "mommed". I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I knew exactly what she meant, and I knew that even if I was going back to Georgia, I wouldn't be mommed in the way she meant, and the longing in my soul was intense and brought me physical pain. I retreated to my car and cried.

After feeling sorry for myself, I dried my tears and wondered if my children would come home when they were adults to be mommed and whether they felt mommed now. I decided right there that I would make certain they would.

I can't stop thinking about being mommed and the deep longing that we all must have for that. Unconditional love and nurturing--security and warmth. I know and fully believe we are mommed by God, but God gives us human hands incarnated to be mommed for others. So I think, who has mommed me? And I easily came up with several people both older and those my same age. The homes I went to where I felt loved, warmth, and acceptance. I was and am mommed even if it's not from my own mother. And I'm determined to mom my children everyday for the rest of my life.

So, I will continue to put notes in their lunch bags even though I watch the boys take them out, read them, and put them in their pockets on the way to the bus stop. And they will get a hershey kiss in their lunch everyday. I will go into their rooms every night and say prayers and kiss them. And even though my 15 year old says "don't mess up my hair" and rolls her eyes when I reach out to hug her, I know she feels mommed as she leans ever so slightly into me.

Today I have some notes to write to those who mommed me, and for the rest of my life, I vow not only my children, but everyone who walks into my house will be mommed.