A Letter to Gangan after Cousins' Weekend

Dear Gangan,
     We had our second Cousins' Weekend since you've been gone last week--we actually extended it from Tuesday-Saturday.  Over that period 24 of us gathered at various times.  Lots has happened over the past year, and just below the surface you could feel the tension of deep seeded hurts, strained relationships, and unrelenting regrets.  For the first three days I felt those feelings, but I also, fortunately, felt a love that covered  us, the love that we have for one another; a love that was on the surface for all to see.
     Friday afternoon, Beth, Taylor, Meredith and I went out to tube.  (Our children and spouses of course found this hilarious.)  But as we were out on the water, I felt us all return to the people we have been to each other our whole lives.  Taylor again became my Tay-tay--partner in crime, competitor in activity, and protector, Beth and Meredith were a fierce twosome who sometimes let me tag along, two people I have always looked up to, loved and admired, and I became the person in between--the bratty tagalong who always knew she was loved.  As we glided over the water, as first Taylor and then Beth drove the boat, jerking us back and forth, fearlessly attacking the wakes all in an attempt to see who could still hold on, I felt the memories of the many years bouncing back and forth over the waves from the boat to the tube; I felt the judgments and the differences sink far below the surface of the water and the love and acceptance spray over us like the spray from the waves sent by God and the spray from the wake we created.  It reminded me that we have a love for one another just because we're family, and we also have a love for one another that we have created throughout the years.  As we cackled and howled with laughter, that love punctuated the air.  Chris said he could hear it all the way back at the grill.  For those 45 minutes, we returned to the carefree world of our childhood and youth, and I knew without a doubt that these people would always love me and always support me no matter what our differences are.  I knew without a doubt that these people would always challenge me to be a better person and to live into the person God created me to be.  And these people would never give up on me.
     As I sit here this morning, it is very clear that while there are definite hurts, strains, and regrets, they are not the root of or the foundation of our relationships.  No, they are sandwiched between a deep, deep love and a love that is ever growing--the love others see on the surface; a love that is renewed and rejuvenated every time we gather.
     We missed you Gangan, but the pain was a little less this year.  There was more laughter as we shared stories about you and fewer tears.  Thank you for demanding that we remain a family no matter what.  Thank you for allowing us the freedom to be who we are and to love us anyway; thank you for passing that love onto us.

Love,
Katherine (still the youngest grand-daughter ;))

PS  We had blueberry muffins this year!