God's love in Cakes and PJ's

People say things they don't mean all the time.  You know how you walk by people and everyone says, "Hey how are you?" but no one really stops and listens--unless you went to UVA in 1989 when my psychology class conducted an experiment.  For one week, each time someone walking past us asked "how are you", we were supposed to stop them and tell them.  I can't even remember what the point of the experiment was, but I'm pretty sure people started walking past me with their eyes down or even saw me coming and crossed the street.  There is some woman out there who has probably never asked anyone how they are again since I told her, "well fine except for cramps and an ingrown toe nail."

And there are others--things people say that they may even mean at the time, but there is little follow through.  The times you say to someone, "We should have lunch/coffee/drinks" and the next time you see them you say, "We should really have lunch/coffee/drinks."  Many times I have heard, and I have said, "If you need anything, please call." And those calls never happen.  Perhaps those calls don't happen because it is so hard for our individualistic, self sufficient, I can handle everything myself society to actually admit that we need help, to actually admit that a community can be a blessing, that together we can love, serve, and care for others better than we can alone?  So those calls don't happen very frequently--wonder how many of us actually breathe a sigh of relief?

Last Thursday when I pulled the plug on Cousins Weekend, it also meant we wouldn't see SK on her birthday.  While we were only going to get to see her between classes for an hour, we were going to get to see her.  Birthdays are a huge deal in our house--I know it's shocking but there are lots of traditions, lots of goofy traditions that the children tolerate with eye rolling.  This was the first time SK had not been with the family on her birthday.  The first time in 19 years...

My heart was hurting for one of my babies--for all of my babies, and a mother's hurting heart can propel her to do things she wouldn't normally do. Actually this is the second time I stretched my comfort zone and asked--this summer hotels were all full by the time I went to make reservations for orientation weekend, so I sent out a plea to my sorority sisters living in C'ville,  Almost immediately Adonice, whom I had not seen in 25 years, whom I had only in the past few years reconnected with on facebook, responded, "you're welcome here."  It was a wonderful visit and reconnection; then Chris and I had dinner with she and her husband Greg when we dropped SK off and the famous words, "Call if ya'll need anything or tell SK to call if she needs anything" were said.  I suspected SK would never call and I knew I would have to be desperate to "inconvenience" anyone.  Well, I was desperate....

I texted Adonice and asked if she knew of a place that would deliver a cake or a cookie bouquet.  Within minutes she responded, "I can take one!!!!"  Another thing many people myself included are terrible at doing is just saying, "Thank you" and accepting help.  I had to argue, tell her I was sure she had other things to do when my heart was really saying, "thank you, thank you , thank you."  Finally I did say thank you, and Adonice planned to take her the cake on Monday.  Monday morning, Adonice checked in with me to see if there was anything else she needed and then texted SK.  Between classes SK texted me, "Adonice baked me a cake!!"  My heart was beginning to smile.  As we were having birthday lunch with our
 exchange student, SK sent me pictures--tears sprang to my eyes.  Adonice went so beyond what I expected--I thought she'd drive up and SK would meet her outside to get the cake.  Nope, she came in with TWO cakes--one for the hall and a pretty one for just SK.  She came in with her precious daughter Carey and she came in with new pj's.  She came in as extended family; she came in as an angel; she came in.

Over the past few weeks I have been working on putting together Christian formation and mission.  I believe they are intricately intertwined, but putting it into words, into specific examples can be difficult.  So often when we think of mission we think of mission trips, homeless shelters, and outreach to the "other", and when we think of formation we think of memorizing, church history, and doctrines.  I believe mission is ministry where you are, to the people with whom you are surrounded, and formation--life long formation happens all the time in words but more importantly through

actions.  Mission is sharing the love of God in community in many ways.  Yesterday Adonice's mission and formed me.  She taught me that God does indeed call us to be in community and to be in community we have to be vulnerable.  We have to reach out to others, and we have to let others respond.  God's love comes to us in many ways--sometimes in cakes and pj's.

I tried to and have tried to express how much I appreciate what she did.  Adonice's final text to me was, "My pleasure; seriously."  And I believe she means it.

She also sent me pictures of my happy girl!