Recently I was talking to a young couple--the woman said, "You really loved being home and doing all those things for and with your children didn't you? You love being super mom, and I mean that in a good way." I paused and swallowed the lump in my throat and said, "Yes. Yes I did. To say I loved every minute of it would be a lie. There were definitely some LOOOOOONG days. But yes," I said as a tear escaped, "I did and do." Later I sat reflecting on that conversation remembering all the fun parts of being home with my four children born in 4 1/2 years--they were some of the best years. But, it also came with a cost....
When I was pregnant with Sarah Katherine I told everyone I was going to continue working. I loved my job, SK could be in the daycare right below me, and my boss was flexible about my hours. It was a perfect situation, and I did go back--for three weeks. I remember clearly the night I tossed and turned trying to figure out how to tell Chris I didn't want to go back to work. I woke him, told him, and with the weight off my shoulder went to sleep. Not sure he did--but the next morning as he left for work, he kissed my cheek, kissed the top of SK's head and said, "Turn in your notice." He had a plan; he had had a plan because he knew me....
We bought a business, moved to Athens (best decision EVER) and rapidly had three more children. I was going to work with him some but he kept firing me with the statement, "You keep getting pregnant I need someone I can rely on." And so he worked long 12+ hour days successfully building the business. Most nights he wasn't home until 9 pm--long after the children were in bed. He never complained--he knew I needed them to have that structure and routine. As hard as he worked, Sunday afternoon naps were for me while he took care of the children. Only after I resigned from the Junior League (for the first time) did he say, "You know I could write a check and get a tax write off for the amount of money we're spending on babysitting for you to volunteer." But when I reactivated, he said nothing; he knew I needed an outlet.
After we sold the business and Chris finished his MBA we moved--a lot. I did have people question why I would do that--the answer--because that's the deal we had. Together we were building a life. Chris was supporting us, and I was holding down the home front. My job was easily transferable, and so I followed him where ever he believed we needed to go. Was moving hard? Yes, but the lifelong friends we have made in all those places make it all worth it. During those summers, spring breaks and other random times, I would pile the children into the car and take off for the beach or to visit friends while Chris stayed home and worked sometimes being able to join us on the weekends. He never complained but I now know that he enjoyed the first few days of alone time and then he was just lonely.
Chris knows how important it is to me to volunteer in the children's schools, and he eats take out or leftovers continually during those busy times; he graciously allows me to be the face the school mostly sees. (He has told me if I chair one more fall festival he will ask for a divorce--I told him I do it because no one else will. His response, "maybe you should consider why.")
Yesterday as Christopher left church kissing me on the head someone remarked, "You're children are really connected to you, aren't they?" They are--I was able because of Chris' sacrifices and hard work to always be present, to be available, to be attentive, to be there. Chris made it possible for our children to learn that if they need us--no matter where, no matter when we'd be there.
Chris and I are a team; we've both made sacrifices. It isn't always easy--sometimes it isn't easy to remember we're on the same team, but we are. We've done this together--the good, the bad, and the ugly, and for that I am eternally thankful. Thankful that I have a husband and the children have a daddy who puts our needs first--who loves us enough to sometimes miss out on those things he loves most so he can work and travel to care for us.
So yes I did and do like being Mama--not sure I would consider myself Super Mama, but if I am it's only because I have Chris behind my cape.
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