I've heard more than once, "Teens aren't going to be able to communicate face to face with anyone. They hide behind social media--texts, snap chat, etc." Perhaps that's true, but over the past six days I too have hidden behind texts, and I have to admit there's something to it....One criticism of constant texting is that people can't see the other people's faces; this can cause us to miss social cues that are important in relationship building. Yep, that's true, but by texting, you can also hide the tears streaming down your face that you don't want others to see. You can also hide your shaking hands and trembling voice--perhaps the fact that you can hide these things means you're more willing to reach out to others during times of need.
Another criticism of texts is that people may say something they wouldn't say to someone's face. That's true too, but most of the time the criticism is that people say cruel things they wouldn't say in person. I'm not doubting that; I've actually seen it. But, I've also seen (and yes if you're wondering if I sometimes read my teens' texts, the answer is yes--and they know it) sometimes they express their deepest feelings, their hopes, their dreams, their pain and their fear. Sometimes you're able to admit something about yourself or something you're feeling or something you're afraid of or something with which you're struggling because it's "safe."
A final criticism (or at least a final one I'm going to address) is that people have their face in their phones all the time--texting non-stop--24/7. I fully admit I throw tantrums about that all the time (and my teens can see my face, hear my voice and yet....), but the other side of the coin is that you can answer when you want, you can reach out for support even during a conference or a car trip (not if you're the driver) or sitting in an airport when you don't want the other passengers to hear. You can decide how you want to say it; how much you want to say...
And others they can reach out to you too--you can wake up in the morning with texts of support to start your day, and sometimes that is the reason you get out of bed.
Texts aren't the answer for the fullness of relationship, but perhaps they do play a part.
2 comments:
I do a lot of pastoral care via text message for many of the reasons you mention, especially with men. People can know I am present with them even when physically separated when prayer is shared via text message.
You're so right Mary! Pastoral care can be done in many ways.
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