The Church Still Matters

This weekend our daughter, SK's best friend, Mason, drove from South Carolina to Virginia to surprise her for her birthday.  My husband and I had the joy of being there.  (Mason is pretty much our third daughter so we got the added bonus of seeing her too.)  I took a video of the surprise and posted it on social media where many comments were made.

The first comment posted was from Mason's aunt and my dear friend Taylor,  "What sweet sisters they are. Oh, to have one or two friends like that in a lifetime." I couldn't get the comment out of my mind..

She's right, of course, but what I kept thinking about was how they became friends.  They will certainly be lifelong friends, but they haven't been lifelong friends.  They met when SK was in 7th grade and Mason 8th.  They have never gone to the same school; they didn't dance at the same ballet studio; they didn't spend every waking moment at each other's homes (although there was plenty of that).  They did, however, go to the same church and to the same Diocesan camp for gatherings and summer camp.

As we spent the weekend together I thought more and more about their friendship. Over the years they have grown and developed sharing their ups and downs, their highs and lows.  They show up for one another, read each other's minds, challenge each other's choices and beliefs, and push each other to be better people. Both are excellent students and both have a fierce passion for social justice and for standing in solidarity with the oppressed.  These two didn't spend every moment in high school together and yet they did share their faith; they shared the common bonds of a faith language--that of the Episcopal church.  These two are living witnesses to the importance of organized religion--to shared faith formation and to a community that stretches you but also gives you a safe place to fall.

Let me be real here--this weekend was not spent discussing the latest resolutions of General Convention.  They did not debate proposed liturgical changes or the nuisances of high church versus low church. These two went to parties, went grocery shopping, watched football, more parties, studying, and on Sunday morning sat together in church.  Their friendship is expansive, varied and real life, but I believe their faith is the foundation.  If nothing else, the church--the container of organized religion is where their friendship was rooted.

But they aren't the only ones--all of my children have developed
close knit friendships from our community of faith.  These friends show up for each other at plays, drive through blinding snow storms for birthdays (okay I drove but they showed up), go to each others school events, and share their deepest thoughts, joys and fears.

Throughout the weekend I returned again and again to Taylor's comment; I thought about some of my closest friends and how I met them--so many of them come from the churches we have called home if only for a season. I am blessed to have many friends developed during the early years of marriage and throughout the rearing of children, and as I watched Mason and SK this weekend I remembered them and our shared faith.  These are friendships that developed around a common set of beliefs, around a common grounding of values, around a common faith language.

William's Confirmation Sponsor--his camp counselor

It's "popular" right now to say, "I'm spiritual but not religious" or "I don't need the church to have a relationship with God."  I'm not arguing with either, but I do believe there is a solidarity, a grounding, a rootedness that comes through our communities of faith.  And I believe as our children are growing up in an ever changing, chaotic world they need that solid foundation.  I believe that to have a faith community--to develop friendships through a faith community will only make them better, stronger, and more loving people.

Yes, we need to be reimagining church, but I have no doubt the Church still matters.  I've seen proof...