A Good Enough Halloween

Last year

Last year

I didn't decorate for Halloween this year.  There I've said it--and it's public.  Me the person who has always decorated for every holiday and who wore holiday clothes well past the time it was fashionable. Me the person who made sure the children had smocked outfits for every season, me, me, me--I didn't decorate for Halloween this year.

Matching smocked outfits

And not only that, I barely did anything to get ready for Halloween which is in 48 hours.  I didn't get the Halloween plates and mugs out. I bought the candy just today (and no children I will not tell you where it's hidden), but the candy will be handed out from the bag and not in the canvas
monogrammed "Happy Halloween" container.  I didn't go with the children to put together their costumes. (I did give them my debit card to pay for them...) Two days ago I had a brief (read very brief) moment of guilt when I was in a friend's home which was  beautifully decorated for Halloween. But I, I Miss Holiday Homemaker, I didn't decorate for Halloween this year--

I've been thinking about this all morning, ever since I sent the children off to school in their costumes I didn't help them create. I've tried to feel some sort of remorse, but all I can think is, "You know what--what I did this year was all I could do, and it was good enough."

Pippi Longstocking

I wonder, why do we rarely if ever give ourselves that grace?  The grace to be "good enough" not perfect but just good enough?  It made me think of times I've given a sermon and someone says afterwards, "That was a great sermon." (which by the way is always an awkward moment--I want to give sermons that matter, that proclaim the Gospel, but I don't want it to be about me--another blog) but anyway, I hear that comment and when I know I didn't put the time into it I wish I had, I always feel guilty or as Brene Brown would say, "the shame factor kicks in" telling me I'm a phony, that I'm not good enough. But you know what I realize?  Maybe I didn't put as much into it as I wanted, but it was good enough--good enough to touch someone, good enough to make a difference.  And in it was okay to just be good enough.

I know I'm not alone. Just yesterday I was talking to my new best friend and she told me how when she went to seminary with 3 children at home commuting 150 miles each way, her bishop said, "You're going to feel like you're not doing anything well, but if that's okay with you, and it is with me, I fully support you." I have no idea what her grades were in seminary, but I know they were "good enough", and I know she is a great priest.

I also think we send this message to our children.  We tell them "do your best in everything", but I wonder if they hear "be perfect in everything." Because sometimes your best is one thing and sometimes it's another. Sometimes doing your best is just getting through. Sometimes getting an A on a paper after working for hours and hours is what you can do, and sometimes getting a B because you just had to get it done is what you can do, and it's good enough. Do we give ourselves or others the grace to be good enough in that moment--good enough with all the other things in our lives? Do we ever even consider that what we see as laziness or apathy may indeed just be what that person can do--for that moment it may be all they can do. Good enough doesn't mean slacking, it means doing your best in that moment, with the skills you have, all the while dodging the arrows life is shooting at you--

Will these children even read Thompson?

Hunter S. Thompson said, "Anything worth doing, is worth doing right."  After I get past the thought that I'm not sure he's the person to direct our lives, I begin to wonder what he means. Right by whose standards? Right as in perfect?  Right as in better than anyone else? Right as in only one way? Or right as in good enough--good enough at that time, in that place, with what is happening in your life and in the lives of those around you--just good enough.

In the BCP A Collect for Grace says,
Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought us in safety to this new day: Preserve us with your mighty power, that we may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, 100)

Fulfilling God's purpose--fulfilling it perfectly (reminder we are not God) or fulfilling it the best we

can--doing whatever we can do however we can do it.

There is another prayer that has these words: make me ready, Lord, for whatever it may be.  If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly. (BCP, 461)

"Whatever it may be" sometimes it is one thing and sometimes it is another.  Sometimes it is decorating for Halloween, making costumes, organizing hayrides, and sometimes it's not.  Either way, it's what can be done in that moment, and it's good enough.

I believe God gives us the grace to be good enough.  (And I just might decorate for Thanksgiving)

Seasonal smocking--I had too much time on my hands!!!