But what has my dander up--that doesn't even begin to express my anger. What has steam coming out of my ears as my head about to spin around three times and pop off is how the media has dug up "dirt" as they call it on Dr. Dao and have started a campaign to smear his name. The very second I first heard he had a past, before I even knew what it was, I wanted to scream, "WHO CARES!?!?!! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM IS UNACCEPTABLE PERIOD!!!" And then my snide side wanted to ask United, "So did you choose Dr. Dao because he has a past? Do you vet all your passengers and decide based on their "pasts" how you are going to treat them?" (self righteous voice is beginning to be silenced as I also begin sounding quite snarky....)
Perhaps it's because we have a personal family friend who also lost his medical license due to abusing prescription drugs. Our friend was "caught", went to rehab and then worked diligently to earn his license back. Before his death he was indeed reinstated and went on to work in public health serving those who could often find care nowhere else--another cause near and dear to my heart. (Which is why I serve on the Family Health Center board) I suspect those he cared for with kindness, compassion and care are just thankful someone served their needs and couldn't care less that he had a "past." A past, by the way, he PAID FOR--the consequences were extreme not only losing his medical license, but his marriage and the trauma his family went
Or, perhaps my anger comes from the way we villainize people who have struggled with addiction often never letting them forget "their past." Maybe it is because I personally know far too many people who have traveled the dark road of addiction, fought their way back and yet still are "branded." Whatever the reason I am infuriated....
Yes my family friend and yes Dr. Dao did something wrong. But they both faced up to it, lived the consequences, and then were redeemed. Or were they? What these two men did was dangerous and possibly or rather probably had severe ramifications for others--a fact these men have to live with for the rest of their lives, but where is the redemption? Where is the forgiveness for a mistake made? On a bigger level, how many years will people who have struggled with drugs and addiction be required to pay for their past? I mean seriously, where is the motivation to change if your past is going to be continually thrown in your face, spread across the news, gossiped about in people's homes?
How many years does someone have to continue to pay for, to be identified by his/her past? When does true forgiveness happen, or does it? Forgiveness is hard; forgiveness is even harder when deep hurt has occurred. When the wounds inflicted are so deep the relayering of trust and the diminishing of pain can take years. But what gives us the right as people to continually besmirch those who have erred? And what gives us the right to continue to treat people as less than in every aspect of their lives just because of a mistake in one part?
This morning as I continued to be furious it suddenly struck me--I am angry because Dr. Dao's past has been thrown back at him yet again; I am angry because he has not been allowed to move on, to be forgiven, I want his past to no longer haunt him. But what that really means is there must also come a time when United and the people involved in this terrible tragedy must also be allowed to move forward in their lives and to be forgiven.
Man this is hard!
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