Yesterday afternoon, after the Grand Jury and the Attorney General held their press conferences where they announced one officer would be indicted for wanton
On the drive over to Bardstown Rd. we heard media reports of "violent clashes between the protesters and the police." That is not what we walked up to.
Part of the street was blocked on two sides with close to 40 police cars on each side--lights flashing. In the middle of the blocked-off road were several people seated and handcuffed. The protesters where we stood were chanting, but there was no violence.
Caroline and I moved to the front--notice I didn't say pushed our way to the front--there was no need to push--there simply weren't that many people there and those who were were not pushing and shoving. As we stood at the tape my eyes went to a man seated on the ground, handcuffed, and bleeding profusely from his head. I did not see what happened. A man next to me said he had been kicked in the head by the police at least 6 times. I did not see it. What I saw was a man injured, lying in the street bleeding, and no one doing anything.
A few minutes later we saw a stretcher coming through. The police lifted the handcuffed man to the stretcher and strapped him down. They moved to the side of the street close to where we stood. The man was crying, shouting out his name, and saying, "Where was God? God has abandoned us!" I could not, as a priest in the church, stand by.
I tried to lift the tape and go to the man. I just wanted to put my hands on him, pray a prayer for healing, and let him know that while he felt deserted by God, God was present in all these people who were standing with and for him. I was told to move back.
I kept saying, "I'm a priest. I just want to pray with him. Please let me come through." (Yes, I was in my collar.) I made eye contact with one very young LMPD officer. I begged him to let me through. I saw compassion in his eyes, and he walked over to another officer (I'm assuming his commanding officer) and spoke to him. That officer shook his head. The young man returned to his post and would no longer make eye contact with me. I kept begging to be allowed through. As my emotions ramped up, I didn't use the best language. I apologize for that.
I looked over at my daughter; I felt the collar around my neck; and as a mother and a priest, I could not do nothing. Let me be clear, this is not about me. I have many colleagues who would have done the same and more. I know many laypeople who would have done more. I am not out there protesting every day, but in that moment I knew what I had to do. When I was ordained I made multiple vows. My daughter was there. She heard me make those vows, and now she stood next to me. The two vows I thought of at that moment were, "Will you undertake to be a faithful pastor to all whom you are called to serve, laboring together with them and with your fellow ministers to build up the family of God?" and "Will you persevere in prayer, both in public and in private, asking God's grace, both for yourself and for others, offering all your labors to God, through the mediation of Jesus Christ, and in the sanctification of the Holy Spirit?" (BCP, p. 532) This man deserved and deserves dignity and respect. This man deserved to be prayed for and with. I gave my phone and the car keys to Caroline and prepared to move.
As the stretcher came through I approached and was pushed back. "Please," I pleaded, "I'm a priest. I just want to pray with him. There is nothing in my hands." I was pushed with a baton and told if I didn't step back I would be arrested. (I was not hurt.) Should have I continued to approach? I don't know. That is a question I will consider for days and weeks to come. I didn't approach, but I continued to walk along the sidewalk reciting prayers as loudly as I could. I waited until he was loaded into the ambulance and then turned to go back to my daughter.
At that moment a man came up next to me. He stepped into the road and was embraced by the very officer who had pushed me with his baton. No one told him to get back. No one pushed him. The man who had stepped into the street stepped back and said to me pointing to the officer, "That man is a good guy. He volunteers with me at the Y. He helps underprivileged children." Then he continued, "And thank you for what you did walking with that man and saying prayers." I nodded and moved on.
I am still processing. But here's where I am this morning. I am heartbroken the bleeding man was not given the human right to be prayed for and with. I am heartbroken he was lifted into the ambulance believing God had abandoned him. I am heartbroken there was a young officer, who I believe wanted to do the right thing and let me through, and was told no, and then he couldn't look me in the eye. I am heartbroken an officer either felt threatened by a middle-aged white woman priest half his size, (yes wearing a monogrammed color and pearls) or ignored the dignity and respect of the bleeding man as a child of God because of a broken system--a system which over and over dehumanizes people, particularly people of color. I am heartbroken those officers chose procedure over humanity and love.
But I believe in the resurrection. I believe God will prevail. I believe that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39) And I believe that love is more powerful than any system the world has or will create.
And I pray, "Come Lord Jesus" sooner rather than later please.
6 comments:
This is powerful and painful, Katherine. Thank you for your witness.
Katerina Whitley
So sorry.
My brother also was there. 30 years LMPD. I watched all on TV and saw him a few times being yelled at and called vulgarities while trying to safely, maintain a semblance of order...and other officers also. Officers helping a handicap man,in a wheel chair loaded with items, to safety. Men turning over and throwing tables and chairs on a restaurant patio then trying to force their way into closed restaurant. Yes please join us in praying for our country, and strength, perseverance for All rapid responders Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Yes, our Sovereign, gracious, merciful God will prevail.
Why do you not identify yourself?
Sharing this, Katherine.
A friends of mine linked this blog article. As a fellow Kentuckian, lover of Jesus, and concerned Countrymen, I felt compelled to read it. It is striking to me how similar your writing is to the dozens of other liberal protestant (I assume Episcopalian, Lutheran, Presbyterian - maybe DOC - since RCs don't ordain women) clergy. (My assumption could be wrong, your multiple 'collar' references is what led me to assume as I do.) Your writing differs in that there is little implied or explicit moral judgment on anyone or even the larger issue which fueled this violent outcome. It is a bit disappointing that you chose to re-assert that the injured man was kicked multiple times in the head, by the police and yet added that you didn't witness that...but that's a small thing I suppose. If you did not witness the cause of the man's injury, this 'vignette' feels like repeated hearsay. Certainly I am guilty of the same error. As is almost always the case, however, when reading blogs (or posts, or tweets) of similar sourcing I am always left with the same thought which goes something like this: "This person is certainly kind, committed to their calling, virtuous, peaceful, and loving, someone who would likely be a good neighbor. They are well-educated, avoidant of hard physical labor and do not possess physical courage equal to their intellectual bravery. I suppose "half a loaf is better than none' but if displaying your virtue and concern is not what this blog is about my reading comprehension must be wanting. If my assessment is correct then this blog post is indeed, at least 'mostly' about you. Nevertheless, very well written.
Scootin,
I appreciate and agree with most of what you have written. I don't want my response to come off as defensive although I fully recognize it might. I am an Episcopal priest as you assumed. The reason I chose to state I didn't see the incident is not that I doubt the very real possibility that what people told me is the truth, but rather because I think many stories get told and re-told as first-person stories when that is not the case, and sometimes the stories get told wrong or with added incorrect details. I can assure you I feel very strongly about the larger issue which fueled this violent encounter. That is why I was there. I also believe we cannot answer evil with evil or violence with violence even though that is extremely difficult to do. Further, I cannot judge what is in people's hearts, I can only observe their behavior. I know that sometimes my anger, frustration etc causes me (or rather I allow it to) let me behave in ways that does not reflect my firm belief that we are all created in the image of God and all deserving of dignity and respect.
The thought you are left with is yours and quite possibly often completely accurate. (Here's the part where I will particularly sound defensive)Whether or not I am kind and loving is for others to decide. I am committed to my calling and to peace which does not mean absence of conflict. I am also well-educated a privilege I don't deny or take for granted. However, I am not avoidant of hard physical labor and I if I seem weak in my physical courage, I need to work on that. Thank you for giving me something to think about.
My intention in writing the blog was to give my experience not for accolades but as an opportunity to reflect and possibly to give others an opportunity for reflection just as your comments have done for me.
Again, thank you for your comments.
Post a Comment