Life is an adventure--throw away the map and don't look back!

I had a conversation yesterday that got me thinking. This person said that she often wondered if she would have made some of the mistakes she has if she had married someone else. She also said she often thought about this other person and what life would have been like married to that person. I was somewhat taken aback and unsure of how to respond. Here is my response

When I married Chris, he was on the career path to become a headmaster of a private school--possibly boarding. I was finishing my masters and was going to complete my PhD and then practice child/adolescent psychology. We wanted 4 children spaced 3 1/2 years apart each but were told it was unlikely I would get pregnant. I was always going to work at least part time. On our year anniversary, we found out I was pregnant. Sarah Katherine was born in September and 6 weeks later I told Chris I really didn't want to go back to work. Chris told me that he didn't want to stay in teaching, so we bought Sylvan Learning Center, moved to Athens and to what I thought would be our home forever. Three children and only 4 years later Chris told me he really wanted to get his MBA and move into the corporate world, so, two weeks after the fourth child was born, we sold the business and started graduate school. In between these years, we became very involved in the church and I began thinking about the priesthood. We made some of the best friends of our lives--Chris finished school and instead of moving to Atlanta as I thought we would, we were off to Pittsburgh. We wanted to work for a company that might take us overseas. Pittsburgh was an interesting stop in our lives--many medical crisis. Looking at just one; Caroline's finger--introduced us to Dr. Sabato who has become so important to our family and to whom I owe the belief that angels walk among us. What if we had not bought the house on Williamsburg? What if we had not renovated the kitchen? Well this wonderful man would not be part of our lives. I loved being an at home mom, cooking, sewing, church work, pta--you name it! I thought it was what I would do forever. Again we thought we would stay for awhile in Pittsburgh, but the company began to reorganize and Chris began looking for a new job. There were several we passed up--what if we had gone there? Instead we went to Virginia thinking we were close to family, it was a small town, and we thought we would raise our children there forever. Caroline started kindergarten and the pull to move on with my life became very strong. I knew what I ultimately felt called to do but really thought it would not happen until the children were grown. I began to look for other jobs to do in the meantime. But life happened again and 20 months later we were off to England where so many fantastic things happened to us. Personally for me, it propelled my discernment process. In Virginia I had spoken to our priest and was beginning the process but understanding that because of logistics it would be several years before anything was formal. Well, off to a small village in Northwest England and then everything moved so quickly and felt so right. We LOVED England and never wanted to come back. We looked at other jobs living on the economy but figured out we couldn't do it. Next thing I know Brown Foreman is calling Chris to interview. We had tried several times over the years to get into this company. What if we had 7 years ago? Think of all the adventures we would have missed. So off to Kentucky we went and are now working on settling in. Is my life where I thought it would be? Not at all--there have been ups and downs, there have been exits we have chosen not to take and other exits we took only to discover we needed to get back on the road. I don't look at it as my life isn't turning out the way I planned but rather that my life is working towards the plan God has for me. Sometimes there are curves when it would be so much faster to just go straight, but I wouldn't have met some of the most wonderful people, seen so many wonderful things and grown in mind, body and spirit.

I don't think we should look back at what might have been with sadness but rather if we need to look back, trace the path that we've been on and the blessings we've received because of choices we did make. Fill in important people, dates, events and I think most of the time we will find we are right where we are supposed to be. Had I not married Chris and begun our life adventure together, I wouldn't be the person I am now and I truly believe I wouldn't be the person God wants me to be--flaws and all. So, I think I'm going to try to remember that each day as I'm in another waiting period. Who will I meet today who will impact my life? What will happen today that will remind me I am right where I need to be? I think spending less time thinking of the what ifs and more time celebrating the adventure of our lives will make most people far happier. To quote the song, "Life is a high way and I'm going to ride it all night long!"