We Are All Victims

Last night my son came to me and asked if we could talk privately. I must admit that I usually have some sense of what the conversation will be, but last night I had no idea. Christopher came into the room and had the largest crocodile tears in his eyes. They slowly descended down his face as he said, "something bad is happening at school." "What is it?" I asked him bracing for some confession. Christopher proceeded to tell me about a child who is an Eastern Indian and who is being taunted by a young man at the school. Things such as throwing rocks at his feet and saying, "Dance for your master Indian boy" are happening on a daily basis. Christopher told me that last week the Indian boy had been thrown to the ground by the much larger child--the boy just stood up and walked away. Yesterday, Christopher sat by the young man and asked why he didn't tell. Quietly the boy told Christopher "because it will just get worse." Christopher was now racked with sobs and although I didn't want to, I felt that I must ask him if he had participated in the teasing or whether the stood by and laughed. He firmly responded that he did neither but that he would walk away when the victim did (not necessarily with him). Christopher was frustrated, angry and sad about the situation at school, and he didn't understand it. He kept asking me, "why does ________ care what country ________is from?"

Chris and I talked to Christopher and told him that we thought he should report the incident. Christopher was terrified and wasn't sure he would. He said, "then _______will just pick on me." It was late and everyone was tired so we went to bed. This morning, Christopher came to me and said, "Will you go with me to Mrs. French" (the principal). We left early and had a 10 minute meeting where Christopher relayed all he knew. It was a wonderful moment and Mrs. French was incredible. She assured Christopher that his name would never be told to anyone else (except the counselor). Even the teachers would not be informed of who came forward. But she stressed to Christopher that inside he should be proud and stand up a little taller because he did come forward. She thanked him profusely and told him that bullying was not acceptable in our school for any reasons and that she would handle it immediately.

I must admit I am as proud of Christopher as I have ever been of a child for two reasons. First it took courage to speak up to me and then to the school but also I see inside of him a sensitivity and caring that is so deep and intense that even trying to be a cool 11 year old could not contain it. His sense of social justice is a part of him that I value and admire. On the other hand, I am aware that there are truly many victims in this. The first is obviously the Indian child who has been bullied day after day for no other reason than his ethnic origin. It is sad to me that he at this early age he has somehow learned to just bear it because it will just get worse if reported. I suppose he has experienced racism more than once and perhaps even in his home his family says just ignore it. Christopher is also a victm; here is a child who truly does not understand racism or how it works but yet he is traumatized by watching it. And finally, the young boy bullying is himself a victim of society and perhaps his own family who passes down these horrible ideas. This child had to learn these attitudes from somewhere, so yes, I don't want to admit it, but he too is a victim.

How many victims will prejudice attitudes continue to take? I know one little boy who is no longer a victim for he took back his power this morning!