Expectations and Free Will

I spent a lot of time this weekend at youth athletic events. I really enjoy going to these, but I am continually startled by the parents. It seems we are specializing our children younger and younger and then we place these high expectations on them to not only succeed but to be the best. We begin spending large amounts of money at a very early age because they have shown some interest and perhaps some natural ability. We even label our children saying things like, "he's the athlete in the family" "she's the creative one" "she will be a great lawyer" "he should go into engineering". And I'm speaking of parents doing this before the age of 10. As parents we put undo pressure on our children to choose early what they want to do and I'm beginning to think there must be many children who then feel locked into their chosen area. By doing this are we taking away their choices--their free will? And if we convince ourselves that they indeed did choose, are we taking away their choice to change their minds? As I frequently do, I began to think about this in terms of how God would handle these things.

In Jeremiah 29:11, God tells us "for I know the plans I have for you", but he doesn't tell us what it is. He also tells us "you will seek me and find me". Yes, God knows what plan he has for us, but he tells us to seek him and find him and in that way we will find the plan for our lives. He doesn't tell us that we have to figure it all out by the age of 10 and he doesn't instruct parents to determine it for their children. This is an individual quest that is part of our individual relationships with God. That certainly doesn't mean that we shouldn't expose our children to activities they seem interested and/or gifted in, but I think we need to be careful and not let these activities be what defines them and/or limits them in their lives. So it seems by looking at these verses that there is a specific plan for each of us, and perhaps there is. But I'd like to join that with the Gospel reading and sermon from this past Sunday. In Matthew 15:21-28 Jesus is challenged by a Canaanite woman who wants her daughter healed. He verbally spars with her, and the sermon I heard this week asserted that he changed his mind. Initially Jesus would not even turn to or speak to the woman, but as she challenged (and showed her faith) he turns and heals her daughter. When I think of these two parts of the bible together, it makes me wonder--does God have a plan for us that perhaps is not set in stone? Maybe as we are living our lives, challenging ourselves and sometimes God, maybe God does change his mind. Maybe we are heading in one direction-a good direction-but for some reason we change. Do we have the strength to accept that perhaps there is a new plan from God for us? Takes a lot of courage to give up on something you've invested a great deal in. We know that God loves us no matter what, that nothing can change that--not if we change professions, sports interests, friendships or anything. It's something to remember with our children--whose choosing their activities? Are we influencing them directly or indirectly? Are we putting too much pressure on them? And are we giving them the right, the free will, to decide if its no longer what they want?