Family Traditions

Kate is now part of our family!

When we lived in Lynchburg VA, we often drove I 64 to and from Louisville.  The first time we made the trip, we drove past the state capital in Charleston WV and I told the children, "When Mommy was in college, she went to a formal in that building with the gold on top."  Caroline looked at me with wide eyes and amazement, "Mommy, were you a princess?"  Well obviously I wasn't (although I now tell the girls I'm fine with them being their Daddy's princesses because that makes me the queen), but in that moment with her adoring eyes looking at me, I felt like I must have been. And so every time we drive past the capital I repeat, "I went to a formal in that building with the gold on top."  I suppose I want to recapture that look-mainly I get eye rolls now.  But it's become a part of our family.  If Caroline isn't with me now, I either text or call her just to tell her again.  And now she responds with a "cool Katherine".  That has also become part of our tradition.  It has become so much a part of our family that as we drove by on Thursday SK, without me reminding her, slowed down and rolled down my window so I could take a picture.  On the way home I began fretting because Caroline had sent me an email that her phone was broken.  I really did tear up thinking I wouldn't be able to contact her and that a family tradition would be broken. (It might also have little to do with just leaving SK again).  I thought and thought and then light bulb on---I have her friend's number!

As I was thinking about this family tradition and how it started I began thinking about all our family traditions and how they started and what they mean...

In the spring of 2002, Chris was in his final year of business school.  The children were 1,3,4, and 6. We were okay, but finances were tight--we had to really manage our money well.  At that time you couldn't pay bills online, so I would write out checks and date the back of the envelope with the day to mail them.  I had a 3 shelf file on the wall where I kept the envelopes and moved them down as the date got closer to when each had to be mailed.  Mail one; lower the others.  I spent hours strategically planning which would get sent when; I had a system.  Most of the time it worked....

We went to the beach for spring break (it's great to have parents with a beach house so even as poor graduate students you get to vacation.)  We returned home late Saturday afternoon having learned that coming home the day before heading back to school was a bad idea--another system I managed well.  As we pulled up to the house we noticed a red tag on the door.  "What's that?" Chris asked. "I have no idea," I answered "I promise I haven't ordered anything else."  (Was I little defensive? Probably but he was also wise--I may be the only person in the history of the world who was invited to her UPS delivery man's wedding.)  We walked up to the door and saw that it was a tag telling us our water had been cut off because we hadn't paid the bill.  Chris looked at me quizzically but not critically (he usually trusts my systems--especially when they're color coded), "Did you pay the bill?" "I'm sure I did." I answered.  "That's odd," he said, "I would think they would send a second notice before just turning off the water."  I froze (not because it was cold) but I vividly remembered a second bill coming and me throwing it away because I was certain I had already mailed the first.  I said nothing but ran into the house and to my well organized filing system.  I dug down into the bottom of the bottom cubby--and there I found it--the crunched up bill with the check.  Just as I pulled it out the boys came running into the kitchen with SK all screaming at once.  SK, "One of the boys went potty and didn't put the seat down."  I looked over at them.  Boss, "We both did; we team pottied. But now Sarah Katherine won't flush the potty and she says we broke it."  I looked over at Chris, held up the crumpled bill and sent the children outside to play.  Chris and I put our creative heads together--obviously we weren't going to have water until at least Monday so we had to be creative. We had to come up with a plan.  We tossed around several ideas none of which was call a friend and go stay with them--these were during the days when I tried to pretend I had it all together and before I blabbed our lives to the world.  Surprisingly we were calm (perhaps that was the continued effect of having just spent a week at the beach), and we came up with what we considered the best plan ever--

We walked outside and said, "Everyone back in the car.  We're going on a mystery adventure."  They climbed back into their car seats (yes all four were in car seats) and we headed for Atlanta.  We found a hotel where Chris had points, breakfast was free and there was in indoor swimming pool.  (It had been too cold at the beach to swim much.)  We ate dinner at a restaurant where kids under 6 ate free (there are a few benefits to four in four and a half years) and then we returned to the hotel.  We had a great time swimming until late at night (maybe it was only 9 pm, but they never got to stay up past 7:30 so we considered it late); we then put the children to bed and sat in the hall of the hotel drinking wine and congratulating ourselves for being so creative.  The next day we visited the science center--made sure everyone stayed semi clean and then very late drove back to our waterless house.  At 7 am I was at the water department and by 9 we had water.  I don't know if we've ever told the children the truth about that trip, but the Doyle Mystery Adventure family tradition began.  They never knew when they might come or what we might do, but when Chris or I yelled, "Mystery Adventure Day" four excited children scrambled into the car ready for family time.  Mystery Adventures continued for years but finally for many reasons came to a stop--I miss them.

As I drove and thought about how Mystery Adventures started I laughed out loud.  (I think the truck drivers around Huntington WV thought I was insane.)  Who would have thought we could take something as frustrating, embarrassing, and tension filled as returning to a waterless house with four young children and turn it into a loving lasting family tradition?  And I thought about how God works through everything--the frustrating, the embarrassing, the tensions of life, through the good and the bad; pain and joy; weakness and strength.  I in no way believe that God makes things happen so that God can then do something, but I do believe that God can and does work through everything and everybody--we just have to pay attention and maybe be a little creative.