You Wanted a Hippopotamus but Got an Elephant

Years ago children enjoyed listening and singing a funny Christmas song "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" (Hear it here). Instead of a hippopotamus, many of us have acquired elephants. You know the elephant in the room....

It comes with you everywhere. You have it on a leash at all times where it shares (read invades) your space. When you first acquire your elephant you wonder who else sees it. Actually you spend a lot of time wondering who sees the elephant, who also has an elephant, and whether you should just move over, dress it up, introduce your elephant, and let it join the party. Sometimes you really really want to.

But really who wants an elephant at the party? The answer is no one--and perhaps ultimately least of all the one holding the leash. And so you pretend it's not there and hope everyone else does too. But that doesn't last. The elephant grows and grows taking up more and more space so that you seem to become smaller and smaller. People stop seeing you; they only see the elephant. It makes them nervous; it makes you nervous. You're aware that with one sudden move the trunk could easily strangle you--sometimes you even wish it would.  And so no one says anything and you take short shallow breaths and just try to hang on.

Some people see you coming with your elephant and they lower their eyes or walk faster skirting around you--perhaps worried you'll ask them to hold the leash for you or perhaps worried that talking to you will unleash the elephant and chaos will ensue. Over time the effort to hold onto and control the elephant becomes so exhausting that while you want to reach out to others, you can't find the energy. But it's always there and the fact that your phone rings less and less, that the texts come fewer and farther between are constant reminders that like it or not, you are now the not so proud owner of an elephant

But then you're out somewhere--at a  game or a book club and someone out of the blue, perhaps even someone you least expect, walks up to you, puts a hand on your arm and asks about the elephant...but more importantly asks about you. And then you know that for at least one more day you can breathe, for at least one more day you can hold on.

Be that person no matter how hard--one day you might be the owner of an elephant.