I Always Listen To My Sister

Hey y'all; I'm Katherine, and I'm a chronic social media post-er. Not only that, sometimes I post things that others consider over-the-top, too much, or even inappropriate. 

But I'm not going to stop. And I'm not going to apologize for it.

Several months ago I had an all too infrequent, but definitely life giving and soul satisfying visit with my sister. As we always do, we talked, we laughed, we shared--for 48 hours we were not only daughters, wives, mothers, a priest, and a guidance counselor. We were those things, but also for those 48 hours we were once again "the Kanto Girls".

Now you've got to know--I am the younger sister (it might only be 18 months, but don't ruin a good story with irrelevant details) and as the younger sister I ALWAYS listen to my sister.

We were actually having a serious conversation about social media and the negative impact it can have on people particularly youth. We both have a heart for youth. We were talking about how inauthentic and fake it can be and how it can make people feel they are not enough. Meredith looked over at me and said with her wicked grin, "But not you. You just put it out there. I can't believe some of the pictures of yourself you post or the things you say. But I love it, and others do too. You give us permission to be real."  (For the record, her husband loves to make fun of me about my postings, and I'm mostly okay with that.)

I know for some people it can be too much. I know there are people who laugh at me and make fun of me to others. I know there are people it possibly offends, for that I am sorry. I also know there are people who have been encouraged, have been uplifted, have been given "permission" to be authentic, have been given "permission" to not be perfect, and have reached out to me for sometimes difficult and authentic and real conversations. And I firmly believe, for better or worse, it is a part of my call to ministry.

Several days ago I was having a conversation with another person whose opinion and wisdom I highly value and whose advice I try to follow. It was a slightly different conversation which I may or may not at some point share, but it boiled down to this. I have to make a choice not about who I am, but about how I present to the world. I am goofy and loud, over the top and self deprecating, but I am also (and you won't hear/read me say this often) intelligent and intuitive, and dare I say it, wise. I feel deeply--both my own feelings and the feelings of others. I don't take myself too seriously, but I take others and their lives and their vulnerabilities they share with me very seriously. And for some ridiculous reason, often the world doesn't seem to think those qualities can all be a part of the same person. And sometimes that is really hard for me, and it hurts when people overlook those parts of me. I'll just say it (because my sister told me to always be authentic and I always listen to my sister), typically those are the more "serious" parts.

But here's the thing--I have spent a lot of years, a lot of prayer, a lot of journaling, and a lot of therapy getting to a point where I'm okay with who I am and with whom God created me to be. It's not 100% of the time, but it's more than 75. Part of getting okay with who I am is embracing who God is calling me to be, and I believe that is to be open and honest and vulnerable and accessible to others.

I guess I could hold back; I could become more reserved and more serious which would probably have others take me more seriously. But I'm not going to.

I'm not going to because if my being out there, over the top, and wide open allows one person to feel okay, then I am answering God's call. If my being silly and vulnerable opens even one conversation that allows someone to feel God's unconditional love and acceptance, to feel they are enough just as they are, then I am answering God's call.

I choose to answer God's call, which my sister reminded me to do, and I always listen to my sister.