Here's a well-kept secret that was never meant to be a secret--I am the reason we live in Louisville, KY. It was 2008 and we had already moved 5 times. Sarah Katherine was in middle school, and we decided it was time to find a place and settle.
Growing up I had moved multiple times--the final time in high school. We never lived near extended family, and I had a very romanticized view of what it would be like for our children to live in one place for the majority of their childhoods surrounded by extended family. Chris lived in Louisville for the majority of his life and his parents and both brothers live in Louisville. So I went to work convincing him this would be perfect.
Well, it hasn't been perfect--good yes? Sometimes even great.
But, what I wasn't prepared for was feeling like I am always the outsider. Always.
Let me explain.
One of Chris's brothers is married to a native Louisvillian and the other is married to a woman who graduated from Centre College here in Kentucky, so she too has tons of long time friends here. Very quickly our children began identifying as being "from Louisville." I was 40 when I moved here--I would never be from here. That was very clear. Our family loves and accepts me; I have never doubted that. My sisters-in-law are not only in-laws, but they also are my friends, and yet there are still times when we are all together I feel it--I am the outsider. I am not from here.
Three of our four children went to the same school Chris did. I loved it AND it was a constant reminder. It is a wonderful school full of tradition. Traditions they all share. They even had some of the same teachers Chris did!!! I've got to tell you for many reasons I was so happy Sarah Katherine went to UVA but one is a bit selfish--I wanted to have that commonality with at least one of my children.
There is one (or only one I'm going to tell) painful story. I received a gift from someone who as I opened it said, "I was going to give you fleur de lis earrings, but you're not really from here." We had lived here for 6 years. (I told my dear friend Hope this and she promptly gave me a fleur de lis belt! I love you Hopie!!!)
Anyway, you get the point. Y'all, I also want to say, no one should feel sorry for me. We've had a mostly great life here in Louisville. I have a vocation and friends I love. But I can't lie and say there weren't times, are times, I am well aware I am the only Doyle not "from here."
Fast forward.
Earlier this week I was commissioned a Kentucky Colonel. I opened the envelope and sobbed in my office. It's not that I think I deserve it, or that I worked for it. But seeing Honorable Katherine Kanto Doyle commissioned a Kentucky Colonel, said to me that while I'm not from here, I belong.
*I will still ALWAYS cheer for UVA over Louisville....
2 comments:
I know that the KC commission was well-deserved, but what did the certificate say, i.e., why were you awarded it?
Wow! I just read that Ky Colonel is the highest honor awarded in the state of Kentucky. That's amazing. Congratulations! I also want to know what it was for
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