Good White Men

Forty-six years ago yesterday eleven women were ordained into The Episcopal Church. Except it was a little bit "irregular." Ordination for women had not passed the General Convention. For six years they had been talking about it; for six years it failed. But 11 women persisted, and four men--3 resigned/retired Bishops and 1 active Bishop from Costa Rico, said enough talk--we're doing this.

Forty-six years ago I was six and my goal in life was to become the first woman President. (May I just say how glad I am God did not think that was a good idea?) I actually carried that dream well into my teen years--again so glad God knew better. But here's the thing, I believed it could happen. My parents didn't pat me on the head and talk about how cute I was. They supported my dream; they told people about my dream; they believed it could happen.

In 1997 I heard God calling me into ordained ministry. I had no idea 23 years before that would not have been a possibility. But 14 years later...

I was in the discernment process; I was juggling four children grades 3, 4, 5, and 7. We had just moved to Louisville, and that was way harder and more emotional than I realized it would be. But we pulled together as a family; I went to seminary; we moved 2 times; I graduated from seminary; and then....

I needed to do a year of Anglican Studies not in Louisville. Now the children were in grades 5, 6,7, and 9. I couldn't leave; I couldn't move the children. Everything came to a screeching halt. It was horrible and not because our family had sacrificed for me to go to seminary. It was horrible because I knew with every ounce of my being God was calling me into ordained ministry, and "the rules" were blocking me. I believed I had no choice but to withdraw from the process. (Seriously, God bless Ben Maas--he listened to me sob uncontrollably. I like to think I got him ready for his daughter's years of puberty...)

I wrote my letter to withdraw; I sent it to my Bishop. He called me and said, "Not accepting this. Give me a little time." Now I'm not going to say we broke the rules--but wouldn't that make a dramatic story? We didn't, but Bishop White believed I was so-called, and he wouldn't let it go. He found a way, and a year later I was ordained.

Yesterday as I was preaching I thought about these women and all the women before them. They had to bury a part of them--a part of themselves God created and called them to. Until yesterday I'm not sure I really understood the depth of their pain. But here's the other thing I think about and give thanks for--there were four men who said we will find a way and they did. In 2011 one man held space for me as I wept and another said, "We'll find a way." and we did.

Yes, there is patriarchy in the church and in the world; yes there are people who want to keep women, LGBTQ+, and other races down. But there are also really good white men who want to make the world a better, more equal, place. Let's not forget them.