What If 2021's Not Better?

My social media feed has been filling up with posts like, "2021 has to be better," "time for

2020 to go" or "2020 can kiss my ass goodbye." Okay, I'm lying about the last one--I haven't seen that one time. But it kind of fits, right? 

Except...

I'm not putting that out there because you know what? 2021 might not be better. Keep reading, I'm not being doomsdayish; I'm being honest and I'm listening to the old adage, "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me." I will not be fooled again.

When I think of 2018, I think of "The Summer of Suicide" and I am NOT saying that lightly or making a joke about it. It just was. Too many and too young. In December I said something to the effect of that I couldn't wait for 2018 to end because it could only get better and 2019 was going to be awesome.

Well, 2019 was different, but not sure "better" would be the word I would choose. I call 2019 the year of rehab and recovery and relationships broken and again way too many deaths of people I love. In December I again said something like, "I'm ready to see 2019 hit the road. 2020 has to be better." And we all know how that turned out.

So you get the picture...I'm not going to hang all my hopes on 2021--at least not the kind of hopes that promise rainbows and unicorns and pots of gold.

Here's the honest to gosh truth. All three years have been horrible for many reasons AND all three years have brought joy. All three years have given me gifts I will treasure forever. I promise you this isn't me trying to put lipstick on a pig. (I would NEVER waste good lipstick that way.) This is looking back and seeing where there was light and hope and grace and love even in the midst of the shit storm of the year.

Over the last three years, I have deepened relationships. I have forged relationships with people I never dreamed of knowing. I have taken personal and vocational risks. I have reconnected with people. I have grown. I have learned. I have loved, and I have been loved. Many of these things happened not in spite of but because of how hard the year was--because of the loss and pain.

So no, I'm not hanging all my earthly hopes on 2021 being the best ever or even better than the last 3, but I am 💯 certain in the hope--the absolute trust that God will continue to show up again in this messy, broken, beautiful world full of messy, broken, beautiful people.