The Truth of the T-Shirts

It popped up on my facebook page, and I laughed out loud recognizing how true it was in our family. My sister didn't need rules--she was so good, but she was pretty bossy.  (and y'all wonder why I have issues...) I definitely gave my parents reasons to make rules (and no I will not share examples), and Dritte--not telling you those stories either!

I suspect my children could fit into these t-shirts too--need one more though.  I was thinking about this yesterday on my run and remembering conversations with, in particular, Sarah Katherine.  One of the things Chris and I have done for better or worse is to admit to our children when we mess up.  I used to say to Sarah Katherine, "You didn't come out with a manual.  I'm doing the best I can." or "You're our practice run; we'll get better as we go along."  Sarcastic?  Funny? But yesterday I realized how very true....

I started thinking about how strict we were about dress.  Only certain things could be worn to church; school dress collared shirts only for the boys and hats NEVER to be worn backwards. (We gave into the collared shirts when I went on a fifth grade field trip with Boss and he was the ONLY one in a collared shirt.)  Change started even earlier--SK went to preschool everyday in a smocked dress,
matching bow, monogramed panties (with matching color to the dress of course) and saddle oxfords; I'll never forget the morning Karin Truitte and I watched our youngest enter preschool in mixed matched clothes (Caroline did have on a smocked dress with a bow barely hanging on her head and not matching) and rain boots--it wasn't raining.  We looked at each other and laughingly said, "There are probably people judging us, but hey they dressed themselves." and we headed off to tennis. (She was on her fifth, I on my fourth--we'd had lots of practice!) As for church dress, now we're thrilled they're in church--sometimes in jeans with shirts untucked (not hats

Backwards cap/sibling love

though); Boss left for school today in athletic shorts, a jersey, and a backwards hat--and the world is not ending.

I did make him take the hat off at the table

A couple of weeks ago we let Boss take my car and drive with four friends to Florida (they were chaperoned when they got there).  SK said, "Are you kidding me?  You would have never let me do that."  She's probably right.  She's also right when she says she was never allowed to miss church and now sometimes the others do. That change has come in just the past year--we have moved from insisting they go to church with their questions and their choice of clothes to them not always going. (Why I Insist My Children Go to Church on Their Terms)--and the world is not ending.

I kept running and I kept thinking.  There is so much truth in those t-shirts although a different truth than the successful attempt at humor.  The truth is rearing children is a life long practice run.  We do the best we can with the information we have at the time.  Over time we sometimes realize we made things important that weren't and we need to make some things more important.  Sometimes by the time the youngest hits the teen years, some of the rules are cast aside.  It's not necessarily as is commonly said because we're just older and tired (although that is true to), but I think the real reason is we've been practicing and we recognize the game plan may need to change.  I think what we've also learned is sometimes the rules aren't nearly as important as other things.  We learn to choose relationship over rules.

Isn't a life of faith like that?  As we live we are constantly practicing.  Practicing living into the people God calls us to be; practicing being in relationship with all of God's creation, practicing tolerance, inclusion, forgiveness, redemption, and grace.  Practicing and changing; recognizing there are things we have to let go of--things we used to think were so important, and there are things we need to cling onto.  Wendall Berry writes in "Practicing Resurrection" (Full text: Practicing Resurrection)

So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.