Playground Friendships in the Adult World

Several years ago my Godchild and I were at the playground. She

had just turned 2 and was becoming very independent. 

As we were playing another child, close to the same age, and her father arrived. The two girls were instantaneous friends and ran and giggled as only carefree 2 year olds can do. The father and I watched and smiled. For several minutes we took turns catching the girls as they came down the slide with shrieks of joy and delight repeating, "Don't let me fall." Before long they lost interest and ran to another area. We sat down and watched.

All of a sudden both girls were again at the top of the slide--we were a good 25 yards away. We hollered (he hollered, I screeched) for them to hold on as we raced across the playground. They didn't wait and they didn't yell, 'Don't let me fall." Instead they slid down one right after the other their giggles echoing off the playground equipment. The sound was clearly shrieks of joy tinged with slight fear. The joy won--and the girls repeated their independence over and over and over eventually clasping hands and running to the swings beaming with their newly independent pride.

While walking home my sweet girl said, "Tant Kafrine (I so miss how she said that) that was my bestus friend. What's her name again?" I knew good and well she had never met this child and because I'm the old Godmother I couldn't remember the child's name. I laughed to myself and laughed again as I told her mother later--her bestus friend. HA HA--how could it be her bestus friend when she had seen her a total of one time for a mere 45 minutes? Isn't it cute to be a 2 year old? How simple and naive....

Fast forward 4 years....

I was having a conversation about friendships. I was asked how it could possibly be I was as close to a particular person when we hadn't been in each other's physical presence more than once or twice. My response went something like this, "Well just because we've only been in each other's physical presence a few times, we have much in common and our relationship has developed through texts, emails, social media posts, phone calls and shared experience." Gotta admit I was also a tad bit defensive--practicing the unfiltered 2 year old talk here.

I sat back, stamped down my defensiveness and thought about the question just asked as I scrolled through the names of people I consider my closest friends--those friends I call my "call in the middle of the night and tell them to meet me in Boise Idaho stating, I can't tell you why, and they go no questions asked." Over and over names appeared of people I have had limited in person time with or people I used to see in person a lot but haven't for years--the common thread? Our shared values, experiences, vulnerabilities, challenges, and repeatedly our faith.

I haven't stopped thinking about that conversation and about my Godchild's time at the playground. I now regret my laughter relaying the story of the bestus friend from the slide. In that moment they were bestus friends. Why? Because they had achieved something together. They had together overcome their fear; they had a shared experience that will never be repeated--they won't have another "first time down the slide alone" experience with anyone else. For that afternoon, they were bestus friends. Who knows, maybe they'll meet again some day.

So I guess the answer to that specific question I was recently asked is because when I needed to be brave, when I needed  someone to make sure I didn't fall, when I needed someone to shriek with joy and to share my fears, when I needed someone to hold my hand even virtually, she was there.

Friendships can develop quickly and intensely and virtually--it doesn't make them any less real. My sweet Godchild taught me that.

(And for the record, I suspect she'll be teaching me many more lessons throughout my life....)